The One and Only Club
by salianne
Summary: AU, Luke and Ollie learn how to love themselves and forgive their past through loving each other.


Title: The One-and-Only Club

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Oliver/Luke, Luke/Noah, Christian/Oliver (VL/AWT Crossover)

Language: English

Warning: Sexual Content

Disclaimer: This story is complete fiction.

Summary: AU, Luke and Ollie find learn how to love themselves through loving each other.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ollie was 10 years older, but Luke was definitely 10 years wiser, at least Ollie thought so. "You're right, Luke. I'm being so stupid!"

"Oliver, I never said you were being stupid! Stop putting words in my mouth - I hate it when you do that! All I'm saying is that sometimes you get a little too generous for your own good - sometimes it's okay to say no." Luke said as he grabbed Ollie's hand and kissed his fingers.

"I know, I know! I just feel guilty sometimes. Olivia is my cousin, I'm really the only person left who talks to her - so when she gets in a bind, I feel responsible. Plus, I'm so far away. I can't help her with anything but money from here." Ollie's eyes reflected the mixed emotions he felt.

"God, Oliver, you are so adorable! You're eyes are doing that thing. You know, that thing when you are feeling like shit - they crinkle up in the middle and you kinda look like a cartoon." Luke laughed.

Ollie couldn't help but smile, "Are you making fun of me, Luciano?"

"Yes - I am definitely making fun of you! Come on, Oliver! You don't have $15,000 to wire to Olivia! This one is a no-brainer, Punkin!" Luke grabbed Ollie by his neck in a friendly gesture.

"Punkin? Is that some farmer thing? You're so weird." Ollie leaned into Luke and kissed him. "Weirdo!"

"I may be a weirdo, but you know I'm right. Olivia needs to figure this one out without you. She should have thought it through before she breached her contract - she'll never grow up if you are always saving her scrawny ass, Oliver." Luke said with that tone he gets in his voice that says he knows he's right and the discussion is over.

"Aggghhh! I hate saying no! But, you're right, you're right! I'll call her tomorrow. But tonight, I just want to not think about it." Ollie leaned back on Luke's couch, turned to look at Luke, and thought about how nice it would be to see Luke naked.

"Luke, can I stay here tonight?" Ollie asked as he grabbed Luke by the sleeve and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

"I thought you were hungry." Luke said between kisses.

"I am, that's the point." Ollie pulled Luke's shirt over his head.

"I guess we can order a pizza later." Luke pulled back to take Ollie's shirt off. He admired Ollie's hard body. "Damn, Oliver - for an old guy you have a smokin' bod!"

"There you go being all weird again!" Ollie laughed. He took advantage of Luke's current position and unbuckled his belt, quickly unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down Luke's hips.

"Mr. Sable, look what you've gone and done!" Luke gestured toward the erection that popped out of the top of his boxers.

"I am so very, very sorry Mr. Snyder. Here - let me take care of that for you." Ollie pushed Luke back until Luke was laying on his back, his head resting on the arm of the couch.

Ollie hovered over Luke, admiring his young, firm body. Ollie thought Luke was beautiful. He kissed his young lover, slowly searching Luke's mouth with his tongue. He trailed a line of soft nibbles from Luke's ear to his groin, enjoying the moans that he caused to escape from Luke along the way. He knew exactly how to bring Luke to orgasm. Ollie could make it last a long time or a few seconds - tonight he was actually quite hungry - so he worked Luke into a frenzy in a few minutes. Luke grabbed a fist-full of Ollie's hair as he screamed his pleasure. Ollie gladly swallowed Luke's salty orgasm before kissing his way back to Luke's neck and squeezing himself to fit between Luke's body and the back of the couch.

"Thanks, Luke. I really needed that." Ollie reached behind Luke's head and grabbed the phone. He had the number for Paisano's Pizza memorized.

"Glad to help you out, Oliver." Luke kissed Ollie's forehead. "Hey - no mushrooms this time - blech!"

Luke got up and walked toward his kitchen. Ollie watched Luke's ass. Luke came back almost immediately, carrying a beer and a Pelligrino."

"Why am I naked and you still have your pants on? Not fair." Luke handed Ollie the beer.

"Someone's gotta answer the door!" Ollie laughed.

"Wanna watch a movie? I think there's a Die Hard on Demand this week." Luke plopped down on the couch, picking up the remote.

"Yeah - that sounds perfect." Ollie took a swig of beer and settled in.

"Cool, but pants off once the Pizza guy is gone, Mister." Luke winked at Ollie.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The day Ollie met Luke was one of those Chicago winter days that made Ollie wish he had never agreed to manage Charlie's Chicago venture. Most days, he loved his new city. But every once in a while, the bitter cold, unforgiving wind, and razor sharp snow caused him momentary regret.

Luke walked into Schneider's Chicago West, known as SCW by the locals, bringing a blast of cold with him. He took a seat at the bar and ordered coffee. Ollie brought his coffee personally, introducing himself to the handsome young man and taking the seat next to him. Luke captured Ollie's interest immediately. It wasn't just his good looks and muscular build, there was something about Luke that felt safe. Ollie had been in Chicago for over a year and this brown-eyed, blonde was the first man to catch Ollie's eye. Ollie thought that it had to mean something. Mostly he appreciated that this man was so different in appearance than Christian, who had dark hair and grey-blue eyes.

Luke just needed to get warm. His first semester of graduate school at UC just happened to be during the coldest time of the year. He thought Oakdale was cold in January - he realized now that Oakdale is tropical compared to Chicago. His coffee came by way of a very handsome man who took the seat next to him. Luke immediately noticed his dark hair and light eyes, which reminded him of Noah.

"Thanks." Luke said to the guy who reminded him of Noah, holding up the coffee cup. "My hands are already happier!"

"I bet, it's really bad out there today." Ollie said to the guy he found so attractive - and thankfully not like Christian.

"Oh - I'm Luke." Luke held out his hand.

"Oliver, good to meet you Luke." Ollie shook Luke's hand.

"I take it you're not from Chicago - let me guess...Germany?" Luke smiled.

Ollie was blown away by Luke's smile, it changed everything about his face. "No, Alabama." Ollie said with a deadpan expression.

"Wow - you're a funny one, I see." Luke said.

They both laughed and before the night was over, they were intimately familiar with each other's personal landscapes.

Ollie and Luke spent the next several months calling each other boyfriend. They had amazing sex together. But what they both really loved to do together was talk and laugh. They realized that although they loved each other very much, they were not in-love. Luke found Ollie to be a loving, caring, and considerate and Ollie felt the same way about Luke - they were too much alike to maintain any chemistry.

What they had found in each other was a remarkably honest friendship. They both felt a deep level of trust on the other - and they were both grateful for it. They spent most of their free time together. When one of them dated, the other critiqued. They each trusted the other's opinion and judgement. When they were not dating - they enjoyed the occasional friendly romp - friends with benefits worked well too.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Can I borrow this?" Ollie held up a t-shirt with blue and orange stripes.

"Sure. Why are you leaving so early - don't you want some coffee?" Luke was drying himself after his morning shower.

"I need to get home and iron something for work today. My shift starts in a couple of hours. I thought you had an early class today." Ollie pulled Luke's striped shirt over his head as he talked.

"I do, but that doesn't mean you can't stay and have coffee." Luke squeezed by Ollie, kissing him on the cheek as he passed.

"Hey, what do you have going on tonight? Chef is trying out a new dish. He always loves to get your feedback, Farmboy." Ollie ran his fingers through his hair, gave himself a quick look in the mirror and walked out of the bathroom, searching for his keys and wallet.

"I have a writing lab tonight, but I can definitely drop in before. Would that work?" Luke asked as he pulled Ollie's keys and wallet from the drawer beside his bed.

"Thanks." Ollie said as he grabbed his stuff from Luke and turned to leave. "So, what should I tell Chef? 6:00? 7:00?"

"Closer to 7:00." Luke said as he joined Ollie at the door.

They walked out together, Luke heading west for campus and Ollie heading east to his apartment. "See ya later." They both said simultaneously.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ollie spent the better part of his day training a new waitress. Thankfully, she had so much experience waiting tables that he didn't need to hold her hand much. What she needed most was help learning the computer system. Ollie had been running her tabs and credit all day. She brought him a check from table 7 so Ollie could run the credit card.

"Shit." Ollie froze when he looked at the name on the credit card. He looked toward table 7 to get a look at the man who belonged to the name on the credit card. He saw a tallish, dark-haired guy in Army fatigues. "What are the chances?" Ollie said to himself out loud.

"Excuse me, Ollie?" The waitress looked at Ollie.

"You know, I'll just take care of this one. You've been on your feet all day - why don't you go ahead and get going." Ollie smiled.

"Are you sure?" She was already taking her name tag off.

"Yep - good job today. I'll see you tomorrow." Ollie walked toward table 7.

"Mr. Mayer, thank you for joining us this evening. I hope your meal was satisfactory." Ollie said as he handed the check folder to Mr. Noah Mayer at table 7. Ollie saw that his eyes were blue and he knew that this could be no coincidence. He was looking at Luke's one-and-only.

"Yes, very good. Thank you." Noah said. "Hey, maybe you can help me real quick."

"I can try." Ollie could see why Luke would fall for this guy, he was spectacular looking.

"Do you know where this address is?" Noah handed Ollie and folded piece of paper.

Ollie unfolded the small paper and saw Luke's address written on it. Underneath the address was Luke's phone number. "Um, yeah - that's about a mile northeast of here. You can just walk down Wacker for a few blocks and you can't miss it, turn right."

Ollie walked away from Luke's heartbreaker. He looked at his watch and saw that it was time for Luke to come for his taste-test. Ollie didn't want Luke to run into Noah without fair warning. Ollie ran outside, waiting by the front door for Luke. It was so cold without a coat, but Ollie didn't want to risk missing Luke by running in to grab his coat.

Within 5 minutes, Luke appeared from around the corner. "Oliver! What the Hell are you doing? It's freezing out here - have you lost your mind?" Luke opened his coat and allowed Ollie to wrap his arms around his waist so Luke could close his coat around them both.

"You are so warm! Thanks!" Ollie buried his cold nose in Luke's neck.

"You are an Oliverscicle. Why are you standing out here without a coat on?" Luke started pushing Ollie into the door. "Let's get inside before you catch a cold."

Ollie stopped Luke, "That's an old wive's tale you know. You can't get a cold from being cold. It just doesn't work that way."

"Do you really think this is the place to have a public health debate?" Luke sounded cross. "What is going on, Oliver?"

Just then the door swooshed open and Luke found himself staring into the blue ocean of Noah's eyes. His heart immediately leapt into his throat and he felt his legs get shaky.

Ollie felt Luke lean into him and he tightened his grip around Luke's waist. Ollie saw Luke stare at Noah, and Noah stared back. Neither of them spoke. Ollie felt Luke's body shiver. Luke rested his forehead on Ollie's shoulder, "Oliver, I need to sit down."

"Yeah, sure." Ollie said as he stroked Luke's back. "Let's go inside."

Luke pulled himself away from Ollie, causing Ollie to feel a blast of cold as the warmth of Luke's body left him. Luke walked into SCW and Noah started to follow. Ollie pushed Noah back gently, "Not now, Noah. Give him a little time. okay?"

"I just wanted to..."

"I know, where are you staying?" Ollie asked.

"The Hyatt on the Riverfront." Noah said as he looked into the window to find Luke.

"Okay Noah. I will tell him where you are, okay? How long will you be in Chicago?" Ollie was freezing.

"I'm not sure. I have a situation to resolve. I'll be here at least a week." Noah looked at Ollie. "Who are you, anyway?"

"I am a very cold restaurant manager who apparently gives really good customer service." Ollie said with a warm smile as he turned to walk into warmth.

Ollie saw Luke sitting at a corner table, looking shocked and sad. He sat in the booth and scooted close to Luke. "Are you okay Luciano?"

"Is that why you were waiting for me? You didn't want me to see him?" Luke looked at Ollie with an odd accusation in his eyes.

"I just wanted to talk to you first, before you ran into him, so it wouldn't be such a shock." Ollie said as he grabbed Luke's hand.

Luke pulled his hand away. "Shit, Oliver, your hands are freezing."

"I'm sorry." Ollie could tell he needed to be careful with Luke right now - he could see from Luke's eyes that he was feeling very vulnerable.

"How long have you known he was here?" Luke asked with more accusation to his tone.

"I've known for about 10-minutes. Do you really think I would keep something like this from you, Luke?" Ollie tried to look into Luke's downturned eyes as he gently brushed Luke's hair from his face with the tips of his fingers.

Luke looked up, his expression softer, "Of course not, Oliver, I'm sorry." Luke rested his head on Ollie's chest.

"How did you know it was him?" Luke asked.

"Noah Mayer on a VISA card, tall-dark-handsome, Army fatigues - but it was really the blue eyes and sealed the deal." Ollie said.

"Shit." Luke said.

Ollie could feel Luke's tears soaking through his shirt. He pulled his friend into his arms and held him in a tight, solid embrace.

Later, Luke and Ollie ate a table full of food prepared by Chef. Luke retold the story of his final days with Noah as they ate, trying to realign his senses after the shock of seeing his past crashing into his future.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Oakdale**

It had been weeks since Noah had been to the farm. Luke had stopped by Noah's dorm a few times, but he never found him there. They had spoken on the phone a few times, Noah saying that he had three term papers due and needed space.

Luke was beginning to get impatient. Since he started having sex with Noah it was so much harder to be apart. Luke thought about Noah all the time, he dreamed about him in the middle of the day - in the middle of conversations! He literally craved Noah's touch, his smell, the way he tasted, and especially the way it felt to hear Noah scream his name as he came inside of Luke's body. Luke didn't think there is anything in the world that could top that. Luke couldn't wait any longer. He stood outside of Noah's dorm room and called his cell.

"Hey!" Noah answered.

"Hay is for horses." Luke replied.

"Okay - Luke that is so lame. You are such a dork!" Noah giggled into the phone.

"You sound like you're in a good mood." Luke smiled.

"Yeah, I am. I just turned in my last paper for the semester, now all I gotta do is pass one final and I'm done for a few weeks!" Noah said.

"Great! Where are you now?" Luke asked.

"I'm in my room, why?" Noah asked.

Luke knocked on his door.

"Hold on a sec, someone's at the door." Noah put the phone to his chest and opened the door.

"Okay - I'll hold." Luke said as he looked into Noah's beautiful blue eyes.

Noah looked at Luke and his face clouded. Luke wasn't sure how to read what he was seeing, he thought Noah would be thrilled to see him. They had the rest of the night to be alone in Noah's dorm room - what could be better?

"I'm so glad your room mate has a girlfriend with an off-campus apartment because I need to have you naked right now!" Luke pushed his boyfriend back and closed the door.

"Luke, you tricked me!" Noah said, sounding very angry.

"Noah, why are you pissed at me?" Luke felt confused.

"Because I don't appreciate being manipulated, Luke." Noah back away from Luke.

"How exactly did I manipulate you?" Luke was not sure what was happening here.

"Luke, I really don't want to do this right now. If you would have ASKED me if I felt like hanging out instead of AMBUSHING me I could have saved you a trip." Noah's voice was getting louder.

"Ambush? I thought it was romantic. Noah, what's going on? Please, talk to me. You've been acting strange for weeks now. I really want to understand, maybe I can help." Luke stepped toward Noah, placing his arms around Noah's waist.

Noah pushed Luke away.

"Noah! What's wrong with you?" Luke could feel himself welling up and swallowed hard to keep himself from crying.

Noah turned to face the window, avoiding Luke's eyes. That's when Luke noticed the suitcases.

"Noah, what's going on?" Luke's voice sounded afraid.

Noah stood silent.

"Noah?" Luke couldn't stop himself - the tears flowed freely.

Noah didn't turn around as he spoke. He couldn't face Luke. "I'm leaving in 30-minutes."

"Where are you going?" Luke's voice wobbled.

"I've enlisted. I just can't do this anymore, Luke." Noah looked at the ceiling and exhaled. "I can't be with you anymore, Luke. It's too much. Too intense. I can't betray my father's memory like this anymore."

"What? What are you talking about? Noah?" Luke had completely lost it by this point.

Noah turned to face Luke. Noah could literally feel his heart drop to his feet when he saw how broken Luke looked. "Luke, I'm sorry. I just need to do this. I just can't be...this. I can't be this. With you. I can't be this with you. Especially after you..." Noah stopped himself before he said something he would regret. Unfortunately, he had already said enough.

"What? WHAT NOAH? Especially after I WHAT? Huh? After I killed your father? Is that what you wanted to say? I thought we were beyond that Noah. You know I didn't mean for your father to jump, Noah. YOU KNOW ME! You know I would NEVER hurt anyone like that - not even your horrible father!" Luke was sobbing.

"SHUT UP, LUKE! You are NOT allowed to say that about my father. I can't do this - BE THIS - with you." Noah picked up his suitcases and stepped toward the door, walking a wide arch around Luke.

"Noah?" Luke's voice sounded far away and very small.

"I need to go, Luke." Noah opened the door.

Luke found his voice, "Noah? Just tell me something...please."

Noah stood outside the door, looking at Luke who was standing in front of the twin bed they tore-up in passion a few weeks ago. "What, Luke."

"Why did you make-love to me - why would you do that? You knew what that meant to me - to be with you - in that way. Why would you do that if you knew you were feeling this way about me?" Luke's brown eyes looked enormous from grief.

"I guess it's what I needed to do to finally make the right decision for myself." Noah said, his voice sounding resolved.

"So - being with me - intimately..." Luke's head dropped to his chest. "You're running away from it - from me?"

"Goodbye, Luke." Noah closed the door. He leaned on the closed door, placed his open hand flat against it. A tear rolled down his cheek as he whispered, "I love you, Luke."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Luke stayed with Ollie, he didn't want to be alone. After they talked most of the night about Noah, Luke was exhausted. He fell asleep with his head in Ollie's lap while Ollie stroked Luke's hair. Ollie hated seeing Luke so heartbroken. Ollie knew that this is what bound them together. He and Luke understood each other's inability to let go of their one-and-only loves. Ollie looked at Luke's face, so beautiful - just as beautiful as Luke's soul. Ollie loved this man and said a silent prayer that Noah had come to make things right - to be everything Luke deserved. Ollie slipped himself from underneath Luke's head, replacing himself with a pillow. He covered Luke with a throw, kissed him three times on his temple, and went to bed.

Luke woke before Ollie. He started a pot of coffee and poured himself a bowl of cereal. He loved how comfortable his relationship with Ollie was - Ollie always stocked Luke's staples. Luke did the same for Ollie at his place. Ollie's phone rang and Luke grabbed it before it finished the first ring. He didn't want to wake Ollie.

"Hello." Luke said as he swallowed his mouthful of cereal.

"Um. Ollie?"

"Ollie? Oh - you must mean Oliver. He's asleep right now. Can I take a message?" Luke asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Who is this?"

Luke recognized a very thick German accent. "This is Luke. I'm a friend of Oliver's. Is this someone from Dusseldorf?"

"Um. Yeah. Um. Luke? Um. Could you tell Ollie that Christian Mann called. Christian Mann from No Limits in Dusseldorf. Um. His former flat mate..."

"You know what?" Luke asked.

"Huh?" Christian sounded confused.

"I think Oliver will know who you are without all the detail." Luke was trying not to sound pissy. "Is there a number he can reach you?"

"I'm at the Hyatt Riverfront." Christian said.

"I'll make sure he gets the message, Christian." Luke hung up.

"Unfuckingbelievable!" Luke said to the coffee maker and he shook his head in disbelief.

Luke was trying to wrap his mind around the fact that the two men on the entire planet of men that he and Ollie needed to see the LEAST were both in Chicago at the exact same time, in the exact same hotel. Luke and Ollie often had humor filled debates about which of their ex's was worse. Now as Luke scrambled in his mind to find a way to make this news tolerable for Ollie, he realized that Ollie may win in the contest of worst ex to run into out-of-the-blue. Luke always knew that one day he and Noah would see each other - he just never imagined it would be so soon. But, Ollie never thought he would see his German boxer again - ever.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Dusseldorf**

"Here comes the Champion!" Gregor yelled as they walked through the doors of No Limits.

Christian raised his Championship belt above his head with pride. One at a time, their friends and family congratulated Christian on his victory as Ollie stood next to his lover and beamed. For a brief moment, Ollie and Christian found themselves alone near the stairs that led to the flats upstairs.

"Congratulations, Christian." Ollie's face was close to Christians, he could feel Christian's breath on his skin.

"I couldn't have done it without you, Ollie. You showed up right on time - I needed you and you were there - as always! I'm sorry that I've been acting like an ass." Christian's lips brushed Ollie's as Gregor walked by.

"Just because you have that pretty belt doesn't mean you can stop being careful. Stop making out in public, boys! Christian - you go rest - Ollie is going to help me with a few things around here." Gregor grabbed Ollie's arm and pulled him toward the back room.

"Brother! You're worse than my promoter!" Christian laughed as he ran upstairs.

Later that night, Christian came down to be greeted by a room full of well wishers gathered in his honor. They toasted and laughed and talked about the next big win at the national Championship. Christian toasted Ollie with a declaration of his appreciation and admiration of Ollie's unconditional love and support. Ollie could feel his heart swell when he heard Christian's words, Christian's grey eyes looking deep into his soul. Ollie could hear the "I love you" buried between the words Christian spoke.

Ollie suddenly remembered the gift he had for Christian upstairs. "I'll be right back." Ollie said as he jumped up and disappeared up stairs.

Ollie pulled a bag from the back of his closet. He pulled out the leather bomber jacket, embroidered in red "Christian Mann." Below Christian's name was an embroidered replica of the Middleweight Championship Belt. Ollie smiled as he touched the raised edges of Christian's name. "We did it." Ollie said as he hugged the jacket to his chest.

Ollie opened the door and ran into Gregor. Gregor gently pushed Ollie back into the flat, "Ollie, you can't come down right now. Wolle just showed up."

"So, that doesn't matter any more - he won. It's over. We said we weren't going to hide so much after the fight." Ollie moved to push past Gregor.

"Ollie, listen, it's not over. He still has to get through the Nationals, and then there will be the Olympics, World championship, who knows. Christian has real talent - he could really be big." Gregor had a light in his eyes as he spoke of his dreams for his brother.

"So what are you saying? I'm some dirty little secret? I can't even attend a party for Christian - as his friend - or in the least - his flatmate? This is crazy, Gregor." Ollie's frustration was evident.

"No, of course not. Ollie, we are going to find another promoter - but for now we are stuck with Wolle. Wolle hates you - you know that. Ever since he caught you groping Christian in the street that night - well, you just can't be around each other in front of Wolle! Wolle thinks Christian merely tolerates you until you can find another place to live - so he can't have you showing up at his party!" Gregor turned and left Ollie standing in his flat, hugging a leather jacket, looking like he had just been punched in the gut.

"I wasn't groping him, he was groping me." Ollie said to no one as he closed the door.

Christian burst through the door an hour later, looking flushed from drinking. Ollie was sitting at the table, waiting.

"Hey! Ollie! Come here!" Christian held out his arms.

Ollie walked into Christian's embrace. They held each other, Ollie's face buried in Christian's neck, Christian breathing in Ollie's scent. "I'm sorry, Ollie. You know I hate this. I just want to scream to the world that you are the man who has captured my heart."

"Me too." Ollie said.

Christian pulled back so he could look into Ollie's eyes. "I love how we fit together. It's like we were custom made for each other, you know. Your body was made for me. Your eyes, god Ollie, those eyes of yours. When I look into your eyes I see my future. Please trust that. Well get through this - together. I know it's a sacrifice for you, Ollie. I do. And I appreciate you for that."

Christian kissed Ollie, his tongue felt warm and wet and wonderful as it explored Ollie's mouth. Ollie felt himself warming up, his pants feeling a little tighter in the crotch. "I don't think I've properly congratulated you, Champ."

Ollie bit Christian's neck as he pulled his shirt up and ran his hands across the tight skin and muscles of Christian's belly.

"Whoa, Tiger. I can't. I really, REALLY want to. Fuck - you turn me on!" Christian kissed Ollie breathlessly. "But - Wolle is taking us to dinner to celebrate. Can we pick up right here when I get back?"

Ollie felt that punch-in-the-gut feeling again, followed by the sensation that his heart was sinking to his knees. Ollie kissed Christian - a solid kiss - and pulled himself out of the embrace.

"Here, you may need this - it's supposed to be cold tonight." Ollie tossed the embroidered bomber jacket to Christian and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Ollie turned on the shower, sat on the closed seat of the toilet, and cried.

Christian touched the embroidery of the jacket. He stood there, in his flat, having a debate with himself. He held this gift, such a beautiful gesture. Ollie obviously had this made weeks ago. That's how much he believed in Christian. This jacket, fine leather, the craftsmanship of the embroidery work, was obviously very expensive. Ollie didn't have a lot of money - Christian knew that. Ollie believed in him so much that he made an investment like this - on blind faith. Christian loved Ollie - and this jacket is a mere symbol of why. Christian knew that he should stay right here - with Ollie - the man who had spent the last several months dodging bullets, supporting Christian in every way possible, sacrificing his own needs - sacrificing his own feelings - so that Christian could follow his dreams. This is where Christian belongs - Ollie deserved at least this much from him. Christian walked downstairs prepared to tell Wolle that he wouldn't be joining him for dinner.

"There's my Champion!" Wolle yelled as Christian entered the room. "Let's go - we have many plans to make for your National Championship fight."

So Christian put on his new bomber jacket, and went to dinner with his entourage.

Ollie woke up on the couch. He looked at the clock on the microwave in the kitchen and saw that it was nearing 4am. Ollie felt fear rise in his throat. He ran to his jacket hanging from a hook next to the door and dug his phone out of the pocket. He saw no missed calls. Ollie was immediately in full panic-mode. He and Christian had a rule about calling if they would be later than expected.

Ollie opened the door to go across the hall, maybe Christian crashed at Gregor's place. Gregor was leaving his flat as Ollie opened the door.

"Ollie! What are you doing up so late?" Gregor smiled, looking a little drunk.

"Have you seen Christian? He should have been home by now." Ollie asked.

"Yeah! He's downstairs - no worries. We've been extending the celebration. I just wanted to use my own bathroom." Gregor explained why he was upstairs.

Ollie's face relaxed. "Oh, good. I was worried. I'll just go downstairs with you then. I could use a little celebration."

"Ollie, Wolle is down there." Gregor grabbed Ollie before he could walk away.

"Gregor, I don't care. I'm just going down to have a drink with my friends - even Wolle can understand that - no?" Ollie pulled himself away from Gregor and walked toward the stairs.

Gregor shrugged, thinking that Ollie made a good point. Gregor was tiring of the game himself, so perhaps slowly integrating Ollie into Wolle's worldview was what needed to happen. Gregor caught up with Ollie, flung his arm over Ollie's shoulder and walked with him downstairs.

"Hey! Look who I found!" Gregor announced as they walked into No Limits.

Gregor and Ollie both stopped in their tracks. There, sitting on one of the couches, was Christian. A girl sat on each side of him. One of the girls had her hand inside of Christian's pants, giving him a clumbsy hand job. The other girl had her hand underneath Christian's shirt, stroking his chest. Christian had his tongue inside of the mouth of one girl - the one working his cock. The other girl was sucking on Christian's neck. Christian's eyes were closed, and he obviously didn't realize that his brother and boyfriend were watching him enjoy his new groupies.

"Hey look what Gregor found! A faggot! You know what fag-boy - we don't really need your services this evening. So take your ass back where you came from - your stench is ruining the mood of our party." Wolle said as he pulled the girl sitting on the arm of his chair onto his lap.

"Fuck you, Wolle." Ollie said.

Christian heard Ollie's voice. It sounded far away in his fuzzy, drunken brain - but he definitely heard it. Christian opened his eyes - pulling himself away from the girl he was kissing - and looked toward the stairs. He saw Ollie and Gregor standing there - they both looked completely shocked. There was something else in Ollie's expression.

"Ollie - Gregor!" Christian said as if he were happy to see them. "Grab a girl and join us!"

Ollie couldn't believe what he was seeing. As his eyes focused on more of the details of the scene he had stumbled into, he noticed that the girl who was still working on Christian's cock was also wearing the bomber jacket he had given Christian earlier that evening.

"Christian, I don't think your little fudge-packer flatmate is interested in grabbing a girl." Wolle picked up an empty champagne bottle and tossed it toward Ollie. "Here ya go fag, this should keep you satisfied for a while."

"No - Wolle - you don't understand. Ollie is BI!" Christian laughed.

"Bi? I still don't want him contaminating our girls, Christian. You never know what kinds of shit those fags are carrying around." Wolle looked back toward Ollie, "Get the fuck out of here Faggot, before I knock you on your ass."

"Wolle, you couldn't knock a school-girl on her ass." Christian slurred and laughed. "So I guess I'll just have to knock the fag on his ass for you."

Wolle and Christian laughed together.

"CHRISTIAN!" Gregor yelled at his drunken brother. "Stop it!"

"What? Gregor, take your girlfriend back upstairs. We're trying to have some fun down here." With that, Christian returned to the sloppy kisses of the girl who had his cock in her hand.

The next morning Christian showed up at Gregor's door looking for his boyfriend. Ollie was putting the couch back together after he had used it as a bed for a few hours that morning. Ollie saw that Christian was full of remorse.

"Ollie, I'm not sure what happened last night, but I know it had to be really bad. I can't remember much - but I do remember your face looking shattered and I know that I had something to do with it - and I'm sorry." Christian stepped toward Ollie, putting his arms around his waist.

"You smell really bad, Christian. Why don't you clean yourself up and we can talk then." Ollie pushed Christian away.

"No, Ollie, I need to fix this now. Then you can take a shower with me." Christian pulled Ollie back into his arms.

Ollie pushed Christian away again. "Stop."

"Ollie - don't do this to me." Christian whined.

"I'm not doing anything to you, Christian. Just go take a shower. I need to run to Schneider's for a bit. Charlie said she had something she needed to talk to me about. You clean up, and when I get back we can talk about last night - okay?" Ollie strained to give Christian a reassuring smile.

At Schneider's, Charlie offered Ollie the chance of a lifetime in the US. Ollie had always dreamed of exploring the US and Canada, and loved the idea of making his own way in the world for a change. He told Charlie he would think about it and give her an answer by the end of the week.

Ollie walked into the flat and saw Christian nursing a hang-over at the table. Ollie sat in the chair across from Christian. Christian looked terrible, and he looked like he felt very guilty.

"Gregor filled me in." Christian said as he looked into his coffee.

"Good - I'm glad I don't have to do that part." Ollie grabbed Christian's hand.

"Why are you always so forgiving?" Christian looked into Ollie's eyes.

"Who said I forgive you? I'm really pissed. I'm REALLY hurt. But, more than that - I'm really in love with you, and you deserve a chance to explain yourself. I guess I deserve that too." Ollie said.

"I don't remember any of it. The last thing I remember is Wolle and Gregor toasting me at dinner last night. Gregor thinks Wolle slipped something into my drink. You've got to believe me Ollie. I am so sorry." Christian begged.

"I believe you." Ollie said cooly. "When are you dumping Wolle?"

"I'm not. At least not until after Nationals. It would be career suicide." Christian said as if Ollie had lost his mind.

"He drugged you. He hates gays. I don't even want to know where he dug up those tramps last night! You'll need to get tested - they could have had anything."

"I didn't fuck them, Ollie." Christian said.

"How do you know that - you said you don't remember anything?" Ollie's face was getting red.

"I think I would know..."

"Dump Wolle." Ollie said.

"No, Ollie. It's not fair for you to expect that. I need a promoter for Nationals." Christian was getting mad now.

"Can't Gregor do it for a while?" Ollie wasn't backing down.

"I don't need to dump Wolle. I can handle him. I just need to be more careful. I'm definitely not drinking with him again!" Christian said as he rubbed his temples.

"I can't talk about this right now, Christian. You look like you need some sleep. I need to take care of a few things. Let's talk about this tonight. Okay?" Ollie gave Christian's hand a squeeze and got up from the table.

Christian swallowed hard, grabbed Ollie's wrist as he walked past, and stood to face him. "I won't be here tonight. Wolle has arranged a press tour. I'll be on the road for the next month."

Ollie could only look at Christian. He had lost his will to fight for this thing he and Christian were pretending to be. There was really only one thing left to say.

"I won't be here when you get back."

"Excuse me?" Christian was floored.

"Christian, first I waited for you to come out to yourself, then I waited for you to come out to Gregor, then I waited for you to win the Regionals, now you are asking me to wait until Nationals. I have shared so many good moments with you, and I love you very, very much. But, I can't wait for you anymore. Waiting for you means allowing myself to be ridiculed, belittled, hidden, shamed, and isolated. At least I used to get pieces of you - at night - closed up in your room. Now I don't even get that." Ollie walked away from Christian, hoping Christian would run after him.

He didn't.

When Ollie came home later that evening, Christian was gone. There was a note on the table.

_Dear Ollie,_

_I will call you every day. I will miss you. Please understand, this is my future. I need to go on this trip. It doesn't change the way I feel about you. I'll see you next month and we will go to the shore - just me and you._

_CM_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Luke had read that note a million times since he and Ollie met. They had analyzed every detail together. Christian said that his future was boxing, no mention of Ollie. He never said he loved Ollie. He didn't even sign it "love", he simply signed it with his initials. Luke read the letter and assumed it was written by a selfish man who took Ollie for granted. Luke was pretty sure Christian didn't love Ollie, maybe he felt a lot of lust - but Luke didn't see any love in the words of that letter.

Luke met Ollie a little over a year after Ollie left Dusseldorf - before Christian returned from the press tour. Ollie told Luke that he had stopped taking Christian's calls after about a week of the start of the tour. A part of him hoped that would cause Christian to come home to check on Ollie's welfare. He didn't even call Gregor to ask why Ollie wasn't answering his phone. To Ollie, it felt as if Christian was relieved to have a little breather. When Ollie left, he gave Gregor money for Christian - to cover his rent for a few months - and told Gregor where he was going. Ollie expected to hear Christian's voice every time he answered his phone during his first few months in Chicago - eventually he gave up that fantasy, realizing that Christian's life had taken a different direction and there was no room for him in it anymore.

Ollie snuck up behind Luke and slid his arms around him, "Good Morning!"

Luke spun around, keeping himself wrapped up in Ollie's embrace, "Hey there Sleeping Beauty."

Ollie kissed Luke softly before releasing him so he could pour himself a cup of coffee. Ollie's hair was a mess, he wore only boxers.

"I'm sorry to leave you on the couch last night. I didn't want to wake you." Ollie took a swig of coffee, peering over his cup as he studied Luke's mood.

"You have the most comfortable couch in the world. I always fall asleep on it. No worries." Luke said, hoping he didn't sound like he was trying too hard.

"You're in a good mood. I thought you would be in one of your broods after seeing Noah last night." Ollie gave Luke a sideways look.

"Yeah? I guess I'm neutral. And, curious. I think I'll hear him out - see what he has to say for himself. THEN I'll have my major break down and you can pick up the pieces - okay?" Luke smiled.

"Deal." Ollie pulled Luke into another embrace and kissed him. "Just be careful, okay?"

Luke touched Ollie's face, wrapping his fingers behind Ollie's long neck. "I love you, Oliver Sable."

"I love you, too Luciano." Ollie hugged Luke and said a silent prayer that Noah would be careful with Luke's heart this time.

"So, when are you going to call him? I'm off tomorrow night." Ollie poured himself a bowl of cereal, hoping Luke would take the hint to have his reunion on a night that Ollie can be available for a rescue mission.

"I thought I would call him today and see when he can get together. You know, the funny thing is that I'm feeling pretty good about it. Last night I freaked out, had my pity- party moment, and now I'm feeling okay - like this is overdue or something." Luke rinsed his bowl in the sink.

"Well, he did come looking for you - that seems like a good sign. I'm glad you're going to see him, Luke. I saw him look at you yesterday - I have a good feeling about this." Ollie leaned against Luke and kissed him.

The phone rang. Luke panicked that Christian was on the other end of the line again. As Ollie began to turn to answer his phone, Luke pulled him back in for a deeper, more passionate kiss. Luke held Ollie tight against him, slipping his hands underneath the waistband of his boxers until he cupped Ollie's ass. Luke pushed Ollie toward the bedroom while his tongue explored Ollie's mouth. As they passed by the phone, Luke turned off the answering machine.

"What's this all about?" Ollie asked as he tried to catch his breath. Ollie loved kissing Luke.

"I just wanted to properly thank you for being such a good friend last night." Luke pushed Ollie onto his bed.

"Luke, don't you think you should be thinking about what you're going to say to Noah?" Ollie couldn't resist grabbing a fistful of Luke's blonde hair as Luke began licking his way toward Ollie's belly button.

"Oliver - you talk too much. Just shut up and let your best friend show you a little appreciation." Luke said as he pulled Ollie's boxers off of his hips.

"Your mouth is brilliant, Luke." Ollie gave himself up to the moment, and appreciated the way his friend appreciated him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ollie's day at SCW began a little rough. Two servers called in sick and his prep cook sliced open his left hand and had to be driven to the emergency room by the dishwasher. Ollie managed to sweet-talk a couple of servers to cover, which left Ollie the task of prepping for the evening dinner rush. As he sliced and diced, he managed to keep an eye on the front of the house. Things were running smoothly out front as the dishes piled up in the back. Finally, the prep cook and dishwasher returned. Ollie saw that his prep cook was out of commission, which was fine since Ollie had things under control and Chef was well stocked for the dinner crowd. Ollie put his arm around the shoulder of the young prep cook and told him to go home, rest, and he would be paid for the night. Ollie then ducked into the bathroom to clean up from his sweaty stint in the kitchen.

Christian stood in front of SCW, looking through the store front window, trying to see Ollie. He wasn't sure what he would say exactly, but he knew that he wasn't leaving Chicago until he had said what he needed to say to his one-and-only - that's what Christian called Ollie. Gregor called Ollie the "one-you-threw-away." The truth of it always stung Christian.

Christian's heart began racing as he saw him. Ollie walked into view, speaking to a waitress before approaching a couple seated at a table near the window. Christian stepped back, so Ollie wouldn't see him. Ollie smiled at the couple, gesturing with his hands and shifting on his feet in a hyperactive gesture that melted Christian because it was so much like the Ollie he remembered. From behind Ollie the waitress was joined by a handful of her colleagues. A small cake was placed on the table, a single candle lit on the top. Ollie led them in singing Happy Birthday, his eyes sparkling because for Ollie this was a genuine and sincere gesture. Christian could feel that he was smiling too.

Christian remembered the last time he saw Ollie. He had spent the better part of three months slowly tearing Ollie apart. Christian can't even remember now how it all began to unravel. One day he was having unexpected fantasies about his flat mate. He would catch himself staring at him, his beautiful skin, the bluest eyes, his perfect body - everything about Ollie became a breathtaking surprise. Christian fell in love with Ollie quickly - Ollie was easy to love. The first time Christian kissed Ollie he was terrified because it felt so right - Ollie's kisses became a craving. Eventually - Christian craved Ollie in many other ways. Christian loved everything about Ollie - from his nurturing, caring honesty to his incredibly erotic and sensual sexuality. Christian took every opportunity to have sex with Ollie. Ollie was by far the best lover Christian has ever had.

Christian thought his life would be simpler once Gregor found out - but it wasn't. As soon as he and Gregor met Wolle - the end loomed near. It started with simply hiding their relationship. It didn't feel like a big deal to either of them. Ollie actually encouraged Christian to play straight in order to succeed in the boxing culture. Soon, Wolle started picking on Ollie, saying horribly offensive things about gays in general and Ollie in particular. Christian felt terrible at first, but it gradually became easier and easier to play along. Ollie was always so forgiving and understanding. Christian found himself getting lost in the quest and he lost sight of Ollie until one day he came home and Ollie wasn't there. It was only then that Christian realized how far away he had pushed Ollie.

Christian realized he had been lost in thought and he no longer saw Ollie through the window. He searched his view from the street to try to find Ollie, but he couldn't see him. Christian decided he had been stalking long enough for one day and he was also very cold. He would call Ollie tonight and beg for some of his time. Hopefully, Ollie's boyfriend wouldn't answer this time. Christian turned to walk back to his hotel and found himself face to face with Ollie. Ollie had been standing behind him, wearing a thick winter coat and a backpack slung over one shoulder. Ollie's face couldn't hide the shock he was feeling.

"Hello Ollie." Christian said, his eyes showed a mixture of apprehension and joy.

"What are you doing here?" Ollie didn't know what else to say.

"I came to see you."

Ollie looked into Christian's eyes, they looked dark in the poorly lit street. "You came all the way from Dusseldorf to see me?"

"Yes." Christian felt his face flush as he looked at Ollie's lips.

"That's a lot of pressure - I feel bad that you wasted your money." Ollie said, his eyes were closed off.

"You won't see me? Is it because of your boyfriend?" Christian immediately regretted saying that.

"I don't have a boyfriend, not that it's any of your business." Ollie said, and wondered if he clarified the point because he hoped this would lead to something.

"Oh, I thought Luke was your boyfriend - why else would be answering your phone?"

"You talked to Luke? You called me?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Noah stood in front of Luke's apartment door, nervously adjusting his shirt. He wore his best jeans - he's been told that they look great on him. His shirt was a rusty shade of red, which he knew made his eyes look bluer. Noah wanted to look as good as possible for this meeting. Luke had called him earlier that afternoon. They spoke briefly, small talk mostly, until Noah told Luke he really needed to see him. Luke invited Noah to his apartment for dinner. Noah thought it must be a good sign.

Luke had always been the one to make the effort. Any time there was a problem - which most of the time was Noah's problem - Luke was the one to try to make it right. This time Noah knew it was up to him. He had spent his time in the Army, pulling pieces of his father out of his soul. Noah felt grateful that his father had gained the respect of so many important people, which kept Noah assigned to stateside duties - this is the only thing Noah is grateful for when it came to his father. Similarly, there was only one regret Noah felt about enlisting - and that regret was on the other side of the door he was knocking on. As he waited for Luke to open his door, Noah wondered if he would be able to find the words that would make Luke understand.

Luke held his hand on the doorknob for a few seconds. His heart raced and he concentrated on breathing. Just hearing Noah's voice on the phone that afternoon had him feeling shook up. On one hand, it felt so natural - like no time had passed. On the other hand, it felt alien and disconnected. Luke had always known that he kept a place holder for Noah - he just wasn't sure if this was the right time. Luke opened the door and as his eyes scanned the man who stood in front of him Luke felt himself hoping that it was exactly the right time.

The door opened and Noah felt himself struggle to breathe. Standing less than two feet from Luke felt electric. Noah took quick inventory with his eyes. Luke's hair looked messy, but not in a bad way. Luke's eyes were brown and warm, he smiled in that crooked way that meant Luke was feeling happy and shy at the same time. Luke wore a grey fitted t-shirt that left nothing to the imagination. Noah noticed that Luke had been working out, his chest well defined and his visible six-pack chiseled. Luke's black jeans were faded in all the right places and hung low on his hips. Noah felt himself linger a few seconds too long on the button-fly. Luke wasn't wearing shoes and Noah thought his feet looked sexy.

"Hey." Luke said.

"Hay is for horses." Noah said and his face lifted, showing very clearly how happy he was to be looking at Luke.

"That's my line, Mayer." Luke smiled, feeling instantly like they would be having a pleasant evening together.

"You look good, Luke." Noah said sweetly.

"Thanks, come in. Let me take that coat for you." Luke gestured for Noah to enter his apartment.

Noah walked through the door, taking his coat off as he moved. Luke took Noah's coat and scanned Noah's body at the same time. Luke's mind flooded with a series of memories of the body beneath the tight rust-colored t-shirt and perfectly fitted jeans.

"You look really good, too." Luke said in a tone that was not lost on Noah.

Noah smiled.

Luke hung Noah's coat in the closet and tried to get himself under control. He was amazed by the chemistry that still existed between them. It was this chemical attraction that he and Ollie spent so many hours processing - that thing they each had with their one-and-onlys. It was that missing piece that neither had found with each other or with anyone else. And tonight, in an instant - Luke felt it with Noah. Luke took a deep breath and exhaled.

"So, Noah, are you hungry? I tried my hand at Emma's Chicken and Dumplings. As I recall, that was a favorite of yours." Luke pointed Noah toward the couch, where he had set the coffee table with dinner settings. "I never bought a dining table, so we'll have to rough it in here."

"This is great, Luke. Thanks for going to all the trouble." Noah took a seat.

"Beer?" Luke asked.

"Um, sure." Noah watched Luke walk into the kitchen and grab a beer.

Dinner conversation centered mostly on Luke. Noah had a million questions about his life in Chicago, graduate school, and the Snyder clan. Luke shared with enthusiasm. He told Noah about the graduate program and the undergraduate courses he taught as part of the program. He made a small salary, but mostly lived off of his trust fund these days. Luke saw Noah's face shift when he talked about the farm and the Snyder drama. Luke could see that Noah missed them. The last topic to be broached as they finished off the last of the apple pie - another Noah favorite - was Luke's dating life. Noah asked the question with hesitation. Luke answered with his usual honest flare. He told Noah about Oliver, including the fact that they were still very close - and would always be very close.

"Is this the same Oliver from the bistro the other day?" Noah asked as he helped Luke carry dishes into the kitchen.

"Yep - that's my Oliver!" Luke said as he spun around to face Noah. "He's hot, huh?"

Luke walked back to the den to grab the last of the dishes, laughing at his little dig. Noah followed, chuckling as well.

"Well, yeah - I suppose he is hot. But, I have to say that since he kinda looks like me." Noah felt clever with his quick comeback.

Luke looked at Noah with his mouth held in an open smile, mocking shock and outrage. "Please! He does not look like you!"

"Oh yeah? He's a little shorter. But other than that - dark hair, blue eyes, muscular build. Face it Luke..."

"You're body is way more ripped." Luke said, trying to find the distinctions.

"Oh - you noticed!" Noah's eyes went a shade darker when he said it, leaning into Luke.

"Noah Mayer, are you flirting with me?" Luke felt himself being pulled by Noah's magnet.

"I think I am." Noah said, his voice almost a whisper as his lips nearly touched Luke's.

Luke could feel Noah's breath, smell his scent, and Luke closed the tiny gap that separated them and kissed Noah. He felt Noah's lips press against his own, softly at first, but they both dove into that kiss with a wave of two year's worth of longing and regret. Noah felt Luke's hands pulling him by the belt loops of his jeans. He felt a hot bolt of energy run through his body when he felt Luke's hips smashing into his groin. Luke's hands slowly moved toward Noah's face, taking time to feel the muscles of Noah's torso on the way. Noah placed one hand on the small of Luke's back, holding his body firmly in place. Noah's other had held onto the back of Luke's head, grabbing a handful of Luke's amazing, messy hair. Noah felt Luke's tongue pushing past his lips and gladly opened his mouth to welcome him. They kissed for what felt like hours, hands touching and hips grinding. Luke was the first to come up for air. He pulled himself from Noah, still holding him close.

"Noah..." Luke panted, "We need to slow this down. I can't..."

Noah pulled Luke in for another kiss. Luke sensed that this kiss was more about last chances than anything else. Luke understood that Noah was ready to talk now - and he sensed that Noah was afraid of how this conversation would end.

Luke had given Noah another beer. He leaned back on the couch, his body angled to face Noah. Luke drank Pelligrino from the bottle, resting the bottle on one knee, leaning his head at an angle on his hand resting on the back of the couch. Luke's body language told Noah that he was ready to listen for as long as it took for Noah to say whatever it was he needed to say.

"I found out from Maddie that you were here." Noah had no idea why he started there.

"You still talk to Maddie? I didn't know that. She never mentioned it." Luke said.

"Mostly we write letters to each other. Anyway, I knew you were here, I googled you and found your address and phone number. Then, I picked Chicago as the location for my discharge hearing so I could see you."

"Wait - did you say 'discharge hearing'?"

"Yeah - I'm getting to that. I guess I'm a little all over the place." Noah took a sip of beer.

"It's okay Noah - take your time - we can fit the pieces together later." Luke saw something sad flash across Noah's face.

"You scared me, Luke. Well - that's not exactly what I mean. I guess WE scared me. And after what just happened in the kitchen - I can see why. Don't get me wrong - what just happened in the kitchen didn't scare me - it just reminded me of why I was so afraid of being with you - I mean seriously - did you FEEL that?" Noah's eyes were wide.

"Yeah - I felt it. I still feel it..." Luke said quietly.

"Me too." Noah smiled and touched Luke's face lightly.

"I was so messed up, Luke. I felt like I had lost myself in you. I never felt anything so powerful - so overwhelming - as I did - DO - with you. I felt out of control. I felt weak. It felt like I betrayed my father - like I killed him - like I was killing his memory. I don't know how to explain it - it's like all of that passion and joy - just the happiness - was so opposite of everything else I had felt in my life that I couldn't reconcile it. Does that make any sense at all?" Noah looked at Luke, begging to be understood.

"It does." Luke took Noah's hand.

"So I bolted. I did the only thing that made sense. I enlisted to learn about my father, you know what made him tick. But what I learned is that he was just a bad man, nothing more - nothing less. I learned so much about myself, Luke. I thought the Army would make a man out of me - the kind of man I was supposed to be. Only - the thing about that is that I was already the man I was supposed to be. And being with you makes me want to be a better man - you make me a better man. It's ironic that I had to run away from you - join the damn Army for god's sake - to finally understand that."

Luke couldn't take his eyes off of Noah. He also found himself in a rare moment of speechlessness.

"So, I'm here to finish up my discharge process. I decided to man-up and be honest about my life." Noah looked at Luke, waiting for his reaction.

"So what are you saying? You came out? Noah Mayer - did you TELL?" Luke's face opened up in a broad smile.

Noah couldn't help but laugh, "Yeah - they didn't ask though. It was a completely unsolicited 'tell' and it took a little persuading to get my CO to document it."

"Wow, Noah Mayer is gay! What will the neighbors think?" Luke teased.

"Seriously, Luke, can you ever forgive me?" Noah's body tenses up again.

"I'm working on it." Luke said honestly.

"Luke, I picked Chicago to process the discharge because I knew you lived here. I wanted to explain all of this to you - but mostly I wanted to tell you that I love you. Luke, I love you so much. I can't stop thinking about you. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing that flashes through my mind as I fall asleep. I dream about you endlessly. I am in love with Luke Snyder and I promise to never take that for granted again." Noah's eyes looked as if they were brimming with tears.

"That pushed you closer to forgiveness, Mayer." Luke said, grinning.

Noah put his beer bottle on the table, grabbed Luke's green bottle of fancy water and placed it next to his beer. Noah climbed onto Luke, straddling him. Noah took Luke's upturned face into his hands, looked deep into his brown eyes, and kissed him in a way that caused Luke's toes to curl. "How about now?"

"Almost." Luke said breathlessly.

Noah kissed Luke again. They were both breathing hard and feeling the heat from each other. Luke pulled Noah's shirt above his head, breaking from the kiss just long enough to pull it off of his body. Luke's hands roamed the landscape of Noah's perfect body. Noah pulled at Luke's clingy t-shirt and found it to be a bit more challenging. Luke pushed Noah back so he could help, pulling his shirt off and tossing it behind the couch. Luke adjusted himself so that he was laying on the couch, Noah's body stretched on top of him.

"Luke, this feels so good." Noah said between kisses. Noah's hands slipped between them as he reached to feel Luke's erection through his jeans.

"Noah - can we be naked now?" Luke said as he trailed kisses on Noah's neck.

"I don't know, do you forgive me?" Noah teased.

"Maybe." Luke bit Noah's shoulder.

"Say it, Luke. Say you forgive me. That's the secret password to Nakedville." Noah pulled Luke's hands away from his belt buckle and held them above Luke's head.

"Noah, in case you don't remember - I love it when you get bossy!" Luke moved his hips so his erection met with Noah's.

Noah was struggling to keep up the game, most of him wanted to rip Luke's jeans off and devour him. Noah licked Luke's neck, tracing a line of heat along Luke's chin. Noah's tongue entered Luke's waiting, open mouth and they kissed with more heated energy than either could ever remember from before.

Luke's phone rang.

"Shit." Luke mumbled with a mouth full of Noah.

"Don't you dare answer that!" Noah breathed more than spoke.

Luke had no intention of answering. They continued with fevered kisses. Luke heard a familiar voice on his answering machine and the tone caused Luke to pull away from Noah so he could listen.

"Luke? Luke, are you there? I tried your cell - it went right to voicemail. Luke?" Ollie gasped for air as he tried to speak through his sobbing. "Luke - why didn't you tell me. I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me. God, Luke. I need to talk to you." Ollie took another deep, sucking, stuttered gulp of air.

"Noah, I'm sorry - I need to take this call. It's Oliver. Something is wrong." Luke pulled himself from his Noah blanket.

Even Noah could tell that the guy on the other end of the line was in serious pain. "Of course, please take it."

Noah could only hear Luke's side of the conversation and he didn't really totally understand what the issue was.

"Oliver, what's going on? ... I was going to tell you - the timing wasn't right yet. ... Oliver, it wasn't just me tricking you - no it wasn't - Oliver, you should know better. You know how much I love to do that to you."

Luke looked over at Noah, hoping he wasn't understanding that Oliver was upset because he assumed the morning blow-job was just to keep him from answering the phone.

"Oliver, I don't understand...did he call you tonight? ... What? Are you shitting me?... Oh, Oliver, sweetheart, I am so sorry. ... I know. ... Yes, I know it's hard, and without warning, too. I'm sorry about that, Oliver. I didn't know he would just...Oliver? Okay - just stay right there - don't move - I am on my way."

Luke hung up the phone, looked at Noah with a face full of apology. "Noah, I gotta go. I am so so so sorry. This is sort of an emergency."

"It sounds like your friend is in a really bad place. Is he upset because I'm here?" Noah asked, trying not to sound jealous.

"Noah, this has nothing to do with you. Oliver doesn't even know you're here - he's got other fish to fry at the moment - big, stinky fish! Poor guy!" Luke pulled on his t-shirt and walked into his room. He came out with a pair of socks and boots.

"Can you stay here tonight? I don't know how long this is going to take - could be an hour or could be all night. But, I want you here when I get back. Can you stay?" Luke looked up at Noah as he tied his boots.

"I'm not going anywhere." Noah moved toward Luke, pinning him to the chair in another straddling wrestler move. "With any luck, I'll be around for a really, really long time."

Noah kissed Luke. Luke's hands found their way to Noah's ass and he kissed Noah back. "We'd both be lucky then, wouldn't we."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Luke used his key. He found Ollie sitting in the dark, drinking a bottle of red - no glass. Luke turned on the light above the stove, which gave enough ambient light into Oliver's sitting room to allow Luke to gauge facial expressions and body language.

Luke sat next to Ollie on his couch. He gently took the bottle from Oliver's hands and put it on the floor next to the couch. Luke took Ollie's hands in his, and sat quietly with him.

"Why didn't you tell me he called?" Oliver's expression was void of emotion, his eyes looked at nothing in particular on the floor in front of him.

Luke didn't answer. He knew Ollie and he knew he didn't need to answer. Oliver already knew why. Luke waited, holding Ollie's hands.

"He looks good, Luke. Better than I remember. I think he may be bigger - in a really good way." Oliver still spoke in a monotone way that told Luke he must have been sobbing for a long time before he picked up the phone to call.

"I saw him standing outside of SCW, looking in the window. At first I couldn't move. It was such a shock, you know? I told Myra I needed to run to the bank. Once I got outside, I just stood there for a minute, looking at him. His hair is lighter. He turned around and saw me. He's so handsome. He said he came to see me - that's why he is here..." Ollie finally looked at Luke. "...to see ME."

"Wow, he came all the way from Dusseldorf to see you? No, pressure - huh?" Luke squeezed Ollie's hands and gave him a reassuring smile.

Ollie chuckled, "That's exactly what I said."'

"Then he asked about you, said your name. That's when I found out he called. I knew immediately why you didn't tell me this morning. The timing is intense - huh?" Oliver put his head on Luke's shoulder and leaned into his body. "Nice diversion strategy, by-the-way."

"I enjoyed it." Luke said with a small chuckle. Luke wrapped his arms around Ollie.

"The next thing I know, Christian pushed me against the building. I thought he was going to kiss me and I really liked that feeling." Ollie chuckled in a way that said what he was feeling was not funny. "I'm such an idiot! I can't believe I actually got that giddy feeling thinking Christian Mann came all the way from Dusseldorf to sweep me off my feet."

Luke placed a hand on Oliver's head, stroking his hair.

"He had this weird look on his face, he looked down the street so I looked in that direction to see what got him all nervous and there he stood - that fucking homophobic bastard of a promoter. It felt like no time had passed. There I was, feeling Christian's body pressed against mine, I could smell him - he was that close to me - and yet he was so fucking far away! After three years of getting past this - it only took 40-seconds standing on a street corner with him to bring it all back." Ollie began to cry. "I feel sick."

Luke pulled Ollie toward him as he leaned back on Ollie's couch. Ollie crawled on top of Luke's body, sliding himself into the space between Luke and the couch, burying his face into Luke's neck. Ollie cried, Luke held him.

"I'm so sorry, Oliver." Luke stroked Ollie's shoulder with one hand, the other lightly brushed through his hair.

"You know what I said to him? I told him to fuck off and walked away. I should have walked right up to Wolle and told him the same thing, but even now I protect Christian, so I walked in the opposite direction." Ollie had stopped crying.

Ollie's phone rang and both Luke and Ollie stiffened. After three rings the machine picked up.

"Ollie, it's me. I think you misunderstood something. If you are there, please pick up. I need to explain. Today wasn't about what you think, Ollie. I'm at the Hyatt Riverfront. Please call me. Ollie...I...I...Ollie, I love you."

"Asshole." Ollie said under his breath.

Luke held Ollie for a while, knowing there was nothing else he could do for his friend.

"Are you hungry?" Ollie said, his head resting on Luke's chest.

"No, I already had dinner - but, if you're hungry I can fix you something real quick." Luke thought food would help Ollie's feel better.

"You already ate? That's weird, you usually don't eat until late unless you have..." Ollie stopped himself as he realized that he may have crashed a very special evening. "Oh shit - you had a date tonight, didn't you?"

Ollie pulled himself out of the warm nest he had created between Luke and the soft cushions of the couch. He sat up, pulling Luke into a sitting position as well. "You did -didn't you? Shit, Luke, why didn't you tell me? You were with Noah when I called - weren't you?"

Ollie stood up and paced in front of the couch. "Luke - damn it - I feel terrible!"

"Oliver, please sit down - you're making me nervous! It's no big deal. Noah totally understands." Luke pulled Ollie back onto the couch.

Ollie looked at Luke, a grin forming on his face. "So...tell me."

"Tell you what?" Luke didn't want to tell Ollie how great his night had been, not after Ollie's had been so miserable.

"Don't fuck with me, Luciano. Tell me everything!" Ollie pinched Luke's ribs.

"Okay - okay! It was better than expected, I'll say that. I invited him over for dinner - he said everything I needed him to say - and I'm pretty sure there will be more Noah in my future." Luke couldn't help but beam.

Ollie saw something in Luke's eyes that he had never seen before - complete happiness. Ollie lunged onto Luke, wrapping his arms around Luke's neck. Ollie covered Luke's face and neck with kisses. "I am so happy! Luke, this is wonderful! I can't wait to meet him properly. He's very good looking you know...well, of course YOU know!"

Luke was once again reminded of why he loved Ollie so much. He could see that Ollie was genuinely happy for him. There was no envy, no jealousy, no downplaying it because his life was not so great at the moment. "I can't wait for you to meet him, too. You know our deal - I can't commit until I have your approval!"

"How was the chemistry - did you feel it? Was it still there?" Ollie was excited.

Luke would normally feel uncomfortable with a question like that from an ex-lover. But, not from Ollie. He knew that Ollie wanted to know for all the right reasons. Ollie was the only person who understood.

"Oliver - it was better than before. It was like nuclear fusion. And that was just from kissing!" Luke pictured Noah waiting for him, naked.

"So when will you see him again?"

"When I get home, he's waiting there for me." Luke tried to make it sound like no big deal.

"Oh my god - I interrupted you didn't I? Shit. You need to go, Luke. Don't let me ruin your nuclear fusion." Ollie looked remorseful.

"You're not ruining anything and I'm not going anywhere. The only way I'm going home is if you go with me."

"You're joking - right? The last thing you need tonight is me hanging around." Ollie laughed.

"Oliver, just because Noah has decided to pull his head out of his ass and come crawling back to me - that crawling back part is just me being dramatic by-the-way - anyway, that doesn't mean that you and I are going to change our relationship. Well - maybe I'll think of different ways to distract you - but you are still my best friend and one of my soul mates." Luke gave Ollie a nudge.

"How do you think Noah will feel about that?" Ollie asked.

"We'll - there's no time like the present to find out, huh? Come on, let's go. You're not staying here alone tonight listening to Christian leave messages."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Lucy, I'm home!" Luke called from the door as he opened it.

Noah stood from the couch. He looked nervous.

Ollie held his hand out to Noah, "We meet again. Let me properly introduce myself, Oliver Sable. It's good to meet you, Noah."

Noah shook Ollie's hand, "Yeah, same here."

Luke recognized the tension - mostly coming from Noah. "Noah, Ollie's had a pretty rough night, so I'm going to make up his little nest out here on the couch. Will you help me got a few things from my room?"

Noah followed Luke into his room, turning back to give Ollie another once-over.

"Luke, I can leave so you and Oliver can do whatever it is you need to do. I'll catch you tomorrow." Noah leaned in to give Luke a kiss.

Luke pulled back, "Oh no you don't! That's not exactly the good-night kiss I was hoping for. Can't you stay here tonight? Once I get Ollie settled we can finish our conversation from earlier."

"Don't you think that would be a little weird with your ex in the apartment?" Noah looked very uncomfortable.

"Noah, Oliver is more than a mere ex, he's family. He is so happy that you are here and would feel terrible if you left because of him. Besides, you haven't finished begging for forgiveness - remember?" Luke bit Noah's neck to emphasize his point and took a pillow and blanket to Ollie.

"Are you sure the couch is okay? I can blow up the air bed."

"Your couch is like a cloud! It's fine." Ollie took the pillow from Luke.

"I feel bad, Oliver. Usually we just sleep together in my bed. I feel like I'm kicking you out of your own room in a way!" Luke looked like he meant it.

Ollie hugged Luke, "Stop! If I don't hear some nuclear fusion happening in there tonight I will be a very sad German ex-boyfriend. I am fine. I am better than fine. Due to my unfortunate luck - I get to be here on the night that the best person I know is reunited with his one-and-only. How special is that?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Luke held Ollie's face in his hands.

"Yes. Thank you for giving me such a lovely distraction tonight. Now go combust, will ya." Ollie kissed Luke and smiled.

Luke walked into his bedroom and closed the door. "Our houseguest is all tucked in."

"Is he okay?" Noah asked, sounding jealous.

"He's going through a little crisis. It's so weird that you and Christian showed up at the exact same time." Luke said as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"Who's Christian?" Noah asked as he admired Luke's chest. Noah always loved Luke's light, soft layer of chest hair.

"Christian is Oliver's Noah." Luke pulled his boots off, then his socks.

"So, Oliver has a brain-dead ex-boyfriend who dumped him for the Army and has come to his senses and hopes to live happily-ever-after now?" Noah asked as he leaned back on Luke's bed.

"He was dumped for a professional boxing career - and apparently his boxer is still brain-dead." Luke slowly unbuttoned his jeans, taking extra time to slide them down his hips.

"Mr. Snyder is going commando tonight!" Noah smiled, enjoying the full-frontal view.

"Mayer?" Luke asked with a crinkled brow.

"Yes, Snyder." Noah felt the blood rush toward his groin as he watched Luke's cock stiffen.

"How the hell are we supposed to begin our happily-ever-after if you still have your clothes on?" Luke's brown eyes looked dark and hungry.

Noah stood and began to undress without taking his eyes from Luke's. Noah's face looked serious and lustful. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it across the room. His shoes slipped off in two quick gestures, followed by a slow extraction from his pants and boxer-briefs. He stepped toward Luke, putting his arms around him, instantly feeling heat from every inch of Luke's skin. Noah bit Luke's lower lip, sucking it into his mouth as he explored Luke's body with his hands.

"I have a confession." Noah said into Luke's ear.

Luke was breathless. His hands had found their way to Noah's cock. "Noah, you are so fucking hard!"

Noah moaned with pleasure at Luke's touch. He pulled Luke toward the bed. "That's not exactly the confession I had in mind. But, now that you mention it, yes, I am very, very hard - and it's all your fault."

Luke felt himself being pushed onto the bed, Noah's heavenly weight on top of him. "So, what's your confession." Luke said between deep kisses.

"I snooped through your stuff while you were out." Noah kissed Luke softly on the forehead, temples, eye lids, cheeks, nose, chin - teasing Luke by kissing him everywhere but on his lips.

"Did you find anything interesting?" Luke's hips began to find a rhythm that pleased Noah.

"You are a doodler. You have a Barry Mannilow CD hidden inside of a Kanye West cover. Oh, and we are totally busting into the second drawer of your nightstand tonight."

Luke couldn't hold back any longer. He pulled Noah's mouth into his, their tongues found each other, and Luke wrestled Noah onto his back. "Noah, you're my favorite flavor."

Luke took his time. He tasted every inch of Noah's skin as he worked his way down Noah's torso. Noah tasted familiar and safe. Noah's body felt perfect in every way, his cock was made for Luke's mouth. Luke happily swallowed every bit of Noah's yumminess and his heart felt happy.

Luke kissed Noah, remembering how much Noah loved to taste himself in Luke's kisses.

"Luke, I love you." Noah whispered.

"I'll never get tired of hearing you say that. I love you so much." Luke nuzzled Noah's neck.

"Luke? Can we bust into your second drawer now?" Noah smiled.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ollie woke early. He fell into his routine. He started the coffee and then stumbled into the bathroom to pee and brush his teeth. He noticed that Luke hadn't put out a tooth brush for Noah, so Ollie grabbed one from the cabinet and left it on the sink. Ollie walked back to the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal. He retrieved the paper and sat down at the coffee table with his cereal, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. He heard the door of the bathroom close behind him. The brew signal beeped and Ollie took his cereal bowl to the sink, rinsed it, and grabbed a cup of coffee. He turned around and faced a very sleepy-looking Noah.

"Good Morning, Noah." Ollie greeted.

"Morning." Noah rubbed his eyes.

"You look like you could use some coffee." Ollie poured Noah a cup. "How do you take it?"

"Black is good - thanks" Noah took the coffee and leaned against the counter.

They stood awkwardly in silence. Ollie could tell that Noah had had a pretty active night with Luke. Ollie couldn't help but smile, knowing Luke had obviously exhausted Noah.

"So, Noah, did you sleep well?" Ollie asked.

"Um, yeah. Luke's got a nice place - very comfortable bed." Noah wasn't sure how to act around Ollie.

"Could I make you some breakfast. Eggs, toast, cereal - I think we have some bagels and cream cheese too."

"You're pretty comfortable here, huh?" Noah tried not to sound jealous.

"Yeah - I guess I am. Luke and I are pretty close - we're like brothers." Ollie didn't feel like that was a lie. Other than the occasional blow-job and periodic mutual masturbation, he loved Luke in an intensely familial way.

"I don't know many brother's who have been lovers." Noah was failing miserably at the not-sounding-jealous thing.

"Noah, I hope you're not uncomfortable around me. I love Luke, deeply, but I have never been in love with him. And I know he feels the same way about me. Luke and I were meant to meet - I'm a big believer in fate - but we weren't meant to be lovers. That's what you were put on this planet for - to be Luke's one-and-only. I hope you believe me when I tell you that I couldn't be happier that you are here." Ollie hoped Noah could deal with his friendship with Luke, because Ollie couldn't imagine not having Luke in his life, but he also knew that if that's what it took to keep Noah and Luke connected - he was willing to make the sacrifice.

Noah saw something in Ollie's eyes that caused him to lose his balance a little. Ollie's eyes were so sincere and loving. Noah actually felt something inside of him melt a little. "You really mean that, don't you?"

"Of course! One thing you can always trust in me, Noah, is that I always want what's best for Luke. And I believe you feel that way too." Ollie smiled.

"I do, Oliver. I really do." Noah softened. He felt an odd pull in Ollie's direction - like he wanted to know more about him.

"I believe that you are best for Luke - thank you for figuring that out too." Ollie winked.

Noah laughed, "You know what I actually figured out, Oliver? Luke is best for ME. I feel very lucky that he's willing to give me another shot."

"Are you two talking about me behind my back?" Luke stood behind them, looking a mess in his baggy sweat pants with his hair sticking out in every direction.

"Just a little." Noah said as he gave Luke a solid kiss. "Good morning, Beautiful."

"Oh god, Noah. You must be in love if you can call me beautiful in the morning - I look frightening!" Luke smiled.

Luke looked toward Ollie, "Good morning, Oliver. Did you sleep well?"

"I did. Coffee?" Ollie handed Luke a cup, already prepared with the perfect amount of creamer.

"THANK YOU! I need this!" Luke hugged Ollie and gave him a quick kiss.

Luke walked into the den, plopped down on the couch and looked into the kitchen as he drank his coffee. Noah and Ollie were talking. Noah looked relaxed and completely unaffected by the affection Luke just paid to Ollie. Ollie looked happy to be talking to the man Luke felt he could spend the rest of his life with. Luke felt a momentary rush of happiness. He giggled to himself a little as he looked at his two favorite men standing together in the kitchen. They both wore only boxer-briefs, they had dark hair and and blue eyes. Ollie's body was a smaller version of Noah's. Noah was right.

Later, Noah got dressed to run to the hotel and bring his luggage back to Luke's apartment. They weren't officially calling it "moving-in" - but neither wanted to be apart right now. They still had so much to talk about, among other things.

"Hey Luke, can I borrow this?" Noah held up a t-shirt he found in Luke's closet.

"Sure. I think I stole it from you anyway." Luke laughed.

"Oh - well in that case, can I borrow this one?" Noah held up a different shirt. "I want to wear my boyfriend's shirt today."

Ollie folded the blanket. He carried the bedding to the bedroom, knocked on the door jam. "Sorry to intrude, I just wanted to put this back in here."

"You're not intruding, Oliver." Noah said.

"Thanks again for letting me crash here last night. I'm not working today, but how would you guys like to come by SCW tomorrow - I'll comp you a meal."

"Sounds great - but Oliver - if you need us today, you don't have to wait until tomorrow. As a matter of fact..." Noah wrote something on a paper he found in the top drawer of Luke's night stand. "...here is my cell number. If you need anything and can't find Luke, call me. Okay?"

Ollie took the paper from Noah, "Thanks, Noah. I really appreciate that. But you guys don't worry about me - I'm going to spend the day cleaning and grocery shopping. Is there anything in particular you'd like to have around when you're at my place, Noah? For Luke it's mostly cereal and Pelligrino."

"Amstel Light."

Ollie was happy that Noah felt he would be hanging out enough with Ollie to want his favorite beer stocked. Ollie left on a high.

"Well, you two are fast friends!" Luke teased Noah.

"Hopefully - he seems like a nice dude. And he seems important to you. Did you know he left me a toothbrush in the bathroom?" Noah kissed Luke deeply. "I gotta run. I want to check out before they charge me for another day. I love you, Luke."

"Right back atcha, Babe. Grab the key I left for you, it's on the counter." Luke smacked Noah's ass as he left.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ollie looked through his mail as he walked up the stairs to his apartment. He didn't notice the man sitting in front of his door until he had tripped over his legs. Christian woke up, startled by the sensation of his legs being kicked. He looked up saw Ollie, looking equally startled.

"Ollie!" Christian jumped to his feet.

Ollie backed away from Christian. "What are you doing here?"

"I've been waiting for you to come out - I thought you were inside." Christian had a microburst of heartache knowing that Ollie had been out all night.

"I would like to be, could you move away from my door please?" Ollie hoped his voice sounded strong.

"No, Ollie, I need to talk to you." Christian begged.

"Don't you have boxing practice or something? I saw in the paper this morning that the World Exhibition is here - I'm sure you have an autograph to sign or something." Ollie knew that now he only sounded hurt and bitter.

"Ollie, I'm not here for the exhibition - I'm here for you." Christian explained.

"Is that why you practically shoved me through a wall yesterday so your promoter wouldn't see you talking to a fag?" Ollie's voice had officially crossed over to shrill.

"Wolle isn't my promoter, Ollie. I quit boxing two years ago." Christian's eyes begged for a chance to be heard.

Ollie walked past Christian, unlocked his door, and gestured for Christian to come in.

"How long have you been out there?" Ollie asked as he tossed his coat onto the couch.

"Since about midnight" Christian tossed his coat on top of Ollie's.

Ollie walked to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. "If you quit boxing two years ago - why did you freak out when you saw Wolle?"

"I was protecting you - Ollie, believe me when I tell you that you do not want that man to know you are here." Christian watched Ollie nervously wipe his counters.

"It just seems an interesting coincidence that you are here exactly when the World Boxing Exhibition is in town." Ollie hated how whiney he sounded.

"It's not a coincidence, I'm here for the Exhibition. Would you allow me to explain myself now." Christian stepped into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, standing less than a foot from Ollie.

Ollie didn't back away, he stood facing Christian, leaning on the counter with one hip. "Please, because I'm really confused now."

"I'm not a boxer, but I am here for the Exhibition. After I quite boxing I added a minor to my studies at the University - journalism. I am a sports writer now. When an assignment came up for the Exhibition, I put in for it. I knew you lived here and I wanted to see you. So - you see - I wasn't lying when I told you I came here for you." Christian tried to catch Ollie's eyes, but Ollie just looked at his feet.

"Ollie - when I came home and you were gone it felt like my world fell out from under my feet. I assumed you would always be there - you know. I admit, I took you for granted. My life got so crazy. It was exciting. I was Champion - people noticed me - people thought I was special. I kept thinking how proud my father would be if he could see me on top like that. I was swept up in it, Ollie. I assumed that you and I would have our time later, when my life had more room and less restrictions. I didn't stop long enough to think about how it must have felt to be you. Then you were gone - and the only thing I had left was time to think about it - about you, and about what I had done to you. You know Ollie - if I were in your position and you were in my position - you would still be standing outside of that door. I guessed right though. I know your heart, Ollie. Thank you for opening the door." Christian saw the cloud in Ollie's expression.

"Ollie, I have visualized how it must have felt to be you back then. And I want to apologize for what I put you through. But, first - I think I need to hear it from you - I need to know what I am apologizing for to make sure it is as genuine as I want it to be." Christian watched as Ollie raised his head to look at him for the first time since he walked into the apartment. Ollie's eyes were filled with pain.

"I don't think I can do that. Some things are just best left in the past, Christian." Ollie already felt his gut clenching as he thought about what being with Christian had become. "I don't really want your apology either. It's too late for that."

"That's fair. You're right, it is too late. I get that. Unfortunately - you fell in love with an emotionally retarded man who missed his chance to do it right. So, I am asking you to be the Oliver Sable I know so well, and be the bigger person here - even though I am undeserving." Christian sounded sincere.

Ollie saw something in Christian's grey eyes that caused him to trust this moment.

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" Ollie asked.

"I've never been more sure." Christian looked grateful.

"The day I left felt like I was escaping Hell. I had been shunned before - my own mother shunned me - but nothing compares to the feeling of being shunned and shamed and ridiculed by someone who also said that he loved me. It was easy to take care of myself with my mother and others who simply turned their backs on me. I easily found the strength to walk away, taller and prouder - to love myself. But you - I didn't even know who I was anymore. I had fallen so hard for you. You loved me with such intensity in the beginning. I bound myself to you in a way that felt permanent - I had no doubt that you were my one-and-only. I had never felt so much for anyone before you. I think that's what held me there for so long - I just knew that losing you meant losing something I would never have again with anyone else. Christian - I never took you - and what I felt for you - for granted." Ollie could feel the pain creeping up in his chest.

Christian wanted to touch Ollie, but he knew this was not the time.

"At first I didn't even notice it. I was so busy trying to help you make your dreams come true. You had so much you needed to prove to yourself - you needed to feel like your father could be proud. I gladly hid our relationship - as long as we knew - that's all that mattered. For a while all the secrecy made our sex life even hotter - until you needed to refrain from sex to prepare for the big fight. The insults built upon each other so gradually that I didn't notice. It was when Wolle started his shit that my heart started breaking a little. At first you would feel so bad that it helped - but you stopped feeling bad after a while. You stopped checking on me, telling me you were sorry. Then you started to join in on it. You would tell me in private that you were just playing along and you didn't mean it, you would hold me and tell me you hated saying those things. That helped a little. But then you stopped doing that, too. It just got meaner and meaner. You hated me in public and you loved me in private. I was beginning to feel crazy." Ollie leaned to grab a paper towel, he was crying.

"Did I ever tell you that Axel used to sit in No Limits and throw things at me? He did it all the time - so when I saw him there I would go someplace else. I told him to fuck off once - he's a strong one. Only makes your win more impressive."

"Ollie - did Axel hit you?" Christian grabbed Ollie by the shoulders.

Ollie just looked into Christian's eyes. Christian pulled Ollie closer and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "God, Ollie - why didn't you tell me?"

Ollie closed his eyes, feeling so much of Christian all at once was dizzying. Ollie's head screamed for him to pull away, but Ollie's heart won out and he let himself be held by Christian. Ollie collected his senses after a minute and pulled himself away from the embrace.

"When I left, I had nothing left to give. I needed to be free from the daily attacks, it had gotten to the point where I felt more attacked by you than anything else. I felt like your baggage. I felt like a weight you resented wearing around your neck. I felt dirty. I felt ashamed. I felt unlovable. I felt like your life would be better without me. After some time away from you - I felt like my life was better without you. Now I just miss the Christian who loved me with intensity - and it's nice to remember you that way. Yesterday - you reminded me of the Christian who broke my heart." Ollie wiped his eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath.

"Coffee?" Ollie asked.

"Can we sit for a bit?" Christian asked.

Ollie poured two cups of coffee. He didn't ask how Christian took his coffee - Ollie still remembered. He brought the coffee to the couch, handing one to Christian.

"Perfect. It's exactly the way I like it." Christian smiled.

"I know." Ollie chuckled.

"You know Ollie, I don't think I could ever apologize enough. The way I behaved is unforgivable. I am so sorry. I wish there was a way to adequately explain how sorry I am. The only thing I can tell you is what I've learned about gratitude and appreciation and how important it is to express both every, single day to the people I love. Losing you taught me that. When I got home and you were gone I thought you would be back in a few days. Days became weeks, which became months. Every day without you made me less tolerant of Wolle and the rest of them. One day after training Wolle and Axel were in the parking lot, throwing rocks at a gay couple who were walking on the street in front of the club. I just lost it. I don't know exactly what pushed me over the edge - the mean behavior or seeing this gay couple, out together. I screamed at Wolle - told him I quite. He yelled back - threatened me, told me I was under contract. So I told him that's fine - he could promote me as a gay boxer. He tore up the contract so fast it looked like snow." Christian had a look on his face that Ollie recognized as pride.

"That was the best day and the worst day. I felt free from this weight I had been carrying around, but I felt that I freed my self six months too late. That day was the first day I cried over you, Ollie. But, it certainly wasn't the last. So, fast forward. Here I am in Chicago. I scammed a trip from the paper so I could find you. I just can't stop thinking about you, Ollie. Every day I wonder how you are, what you are doing, if you think about me at all. I miss you more and more. You haunt me in my sleep. I couldn't go on another day without taking the risk of your rejection to beg you to forgive me and give us one more try. I even looked into what I would need to do to get a permanent visa. Yesterday, when I hid you from Wolle, it wasn't because I am ashamed. I'll go outside right now and scream to the world that I am in love with Oliver Sable. I hid you from Wolle because he is a dangerous man who holds a grudge. He blames you - he thinks you are the only reason I am gay. He feels that he lost money because he will not collect on my future earnings. He's crazy. I don't want him to know you are here, Ollie."

"Do you have plans today?" Ollie asked.

They spent the day together, just talking. Ollie filled in the details of the last three years - including Luke. Christian shared the details of the new path he is on. Christian was amazed at the coincidence of Noah showing up at the same time. By lunch time they had fallen into an easy rhythm with each other. They laughed easily - teasing each other became less of a mine field. Ollie began to let his guard down. Ollie ordered a pizza, Christian ran out to get beer. When Christian returned he found Ollie in the kitchen, cleaning the coffee pot. Christian put the beer in the fridge and looked at Ollie, who was standing at the sink. Christian stepped behind Ollie, placing his hand on Ollie's waist. Ollie turned to face him, but he didn't move out of Christian's hold. They looked into each other's eyes, both looking for permission.

"Ollie, may I kiss you, please?" Christian asked politely with a sarcastic grin.

Ollie laughed. He put his arms around Christian's neck, resting his forehead on Christian's. Ollie's heart was racing. He never expected to see Christian again. He especially never expected he would be standing close enough to touch Christian's body and feel his breath.

"I can feel your heartbeat." Christian said in a whisper.

"I'm not sure I should be doing this." Ollie felt himself moving his lips closer to Christian's mouth.

"It's just a kiss." Christian said, his lips brushing Ollie's as he spoke.

"You know better than that." Ollie said through a smile.

Christian's lips hovered on Ollie's, almost touching - waiting for permission.

"Have dinner with me tomorrow, meet Luke." Ollie bargained.

"Okay." Christian would agree to anything to feel Ollie's lips.

Ollie smiled, "Okay" Ollie's lips touched Christian's softly.

Christian could feel his body respond. Christian kissed Ollie back, his mouth open, inviting Ollie to intensify his kiss. Ollie's tongue took the invitation. Soon they were both breathing hard, lost in the moment. They stood in the kitchen kissing for a long, long time.

After they ate the pizza they ordered for lunch - at dinner - Christian stood at Ollie's door, holding his coat. Neither wanted this night to end - but Ollie needed Luke to meet Christian before he could trust this enough to let himself fall again.

"Don't forget, tomorrow at about 7pm. Luke and Noah will be joining us." Ollie kissed Christian.

"I'll be there - I'll miss you so much." Christian pulled Ollie by his waist until their entire bodies touched. "Ollie, I love you."

Ollie kissed Christian, not yet able to say those words to him.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ollie didn't want to bother Luke while he was reconnecting with Noah. He decided that he would call Luke in the morning fill him in. Then, Ollie's phone rang. It was Luke. Ollie filled him in as quickly as he could.

"I hope you don't mind. I just want to make sure I'm not being stupid. I swear Luke, all I wanted to do today was rip his clothes off. He is so sweet, he feels so bad, he said everything I ever needed to hear from him. I just want to make sure I'm not looking through rose colored glasses." Ollie explained.

"Oliver, you know I'll do anything for you. I certainly don't want you getting hurt, so I'm on the job!" Luke laughed.

"How was your day?" Ollie asked.

"FABULOUS! I ditched everything in favor of hot, sweaty sex. Oliver, I never thought it could be this good! We're all sticky - so Noah's in the shower." Luke sounded giddy.

"Luke! You let him shower alone? Shame on you. You get in there and be a good host!" Ollie laughed and hung up.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Christian took a deep breath before he walked through the doors of SCW. He saw Ollie standing next to a table talking to two men. Ollie saw Christian and waved him over. Ollie looked happy.

"Christian. I would like to introduce you to Luke and Noah."

Christian shook Luke and Noah's hands and took a seat at the table. He took a moment to study Luke. He thought Luke was very handsome, his blonde hair and brown eyes were so different from Christian's own features. Luke also looked very young. Christian felt himself getting a little jealous. But then Christian saw the way Luke looked at Noah - obviously in love. Noah was striking. Christian could see why Luke would be smitten. Noah reminded Christian of Ollie, dark hair and blue eyes - Noah's eyes had a dreamy quality. Ollie sat and completed the awkward circle.

"Chef prepared something special for us tonight." Ollie said.

The men made small talk until the first course arrived. They ate in silence until Ollie asked Noah how his discharge process was going. Christian showed interest in Noah's story and shared some of his own dealings with the world of professional boxing. Soon they were having animated conversation, often two separate conversations going on at once. They all found it very easy to be together, feeling comfortable to share details that would normally be left out of dinner conversation. Noah and Christian seemed to share a similar sense of humor and they began to rib each other. Luke took his assignment of sizing up Christian very seriously, and when he saw Christian look at Ollie, he saw a man who only wanted to make Ollie happy. Christian's face softened when he looked at Ollie, his eyes took on a bedroom quality, like every word Ollie spoke was a come-on.

"So, this Wolle guy - have you run into him at the exhibition?" Noah asked.

"No, I've been successfully avoiding him. My deadline is noon tomorrow Chicago time, then I can relax and not have to go near the boxing boneheads anymore."

"Why are you so sure that Wolle would even notice Oliver?" Luke asked.

"I just know. Some things are just that obvious - you know?" Christian looked at Luke in a way that was hard to read.

"I'm sure you would know, Christian. Better safe than sorry, I always say!" Noah said.

"So, Luke, you and Ollie dated?" Christian tried not to sound possessive, Ollie wasn't even technically his to be jealous over.

Luke saw that Christian was feeling jealous. He liked that Christian was jealous - it was so much better than apathy.

"I told you Luke and I dated." Ollie said.

"We did, Christian. But Oliver and I realized pretty quickly that we are better friends than lovers. Neither of us could seem to get over our spookily similar ex-boyfriends." Luke pulled Noah by his collar and kissed him.

"Lucky me." Noah said after the kiss.

"You're the only person who calls him Oliver. What's that about?" Christian asked with a little less edge.

"Yeah, I've noticed that too. I don't think it's about anything in particular. He's just always been Oliver to me and now it feels weird to call him anything else." Luke looked at Ollie. "Does it bother you, Oliver?"

"No, not at all. I find rather endearing actually. It's like our special thing." Ollie grabbed Luke's hand and kissed it.

Noah saw Christian bristle. "Christian, come with me to the bar. I need a pair of extra hands."

Noah ordered a bottle of Sparkling Cider and a chocolate cake.

"Thanks for the extra hands." Noah turned to face Christian. "This is hard for you, huh? Seeing Oliver and Luke together?"

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean." Christian tied to play it off.

"Hey, look…I get it. Those two are really connected. But I only had to spend 20-minutes with Ollie to understand that he wants what's best for Luke. It's important to me that Ollie thinks that I'm best for Luke. Not just because I know Luke really respects Ollie's opinion – but because it also only took me 20-minutes to understand that Ollie is a really, really good guy – and his opinion of me matters to ME, too. I think you'll feel the same way about Luke – so just chill out. You wouldn't be here tonight if Ollie didn't think there was something more for the two of you – so don't blow it with a knee jerk, ego-driven, response to a threat that doesn't exist." Noah handed Christian the bottle and four glasses.

Christian started to deny it, but realized that Noah had him pegged, "How did you know…"

Noah cut him off as he picked up the cake and turned to walk back to the table, "Hey, man, welcome to the 'one-and-only' club!"

As Noah and Christian approached the table, Christian noticed that Luke and Ollie were huddled together, speaking in whispers to each other. Ollie's had rested on Luke's shoulder. Christian thought it looked cozy – but not the least bit sexual.

"Here we are! Tonight we celebrate!" Noah put the cake in the middle of the table. Christian placed a glass in front of each of them and opened the bottle.

"What's the occasion?" Ollie asked.

"I'm glad you asked Ollie! Tonight Luke and I are celebrating our one-day anniversary." Noah sat in his chair and leaned toward Luke. "So, I supposed today marks the SECOND day of the rest of our lives together."

Luke kissed Noah through a wide smile.

Christian watched Ollie. He saw something in Ollie's eyes as Ollie watched his friend enjoy a special moment. Christian saw genuine happiness. Ollie had always been very generous with himself – always showing true happiness for other peoples good fortune. That was one of the things Christian admired so much about Ollie. After everything Ollie had endured a few years ago – Christian wouldn't have been surprised if some of that magical part of Ollie had disappeared. But, there it was. He saw it the other night as Ollie greeted strangers who were celebrating two tables over – and he is seeing it right now, only magnified a thousand times because of how much Ollie loves Luke. Christian realized that it wouldn't take 20-minutes – it only took one minute – this one.

Christian leaned toward Ollie, pulling Ollie's head close to his, and whispered in Ollie's ear, "Were you two talking about me when I came back from the bar?"

Ollie looked at Christian, both were smiling, "Just a little." Ollie said before he kissed him.

For the next hour, Christian showed more interest in getting to know Luke, and Ollie noticed. When Ollie sent the trio on their way after dinner, Christian hugged Luke. Ollie noticed that too.

"So, I'm off again on Thursday." Ollie said to Christian as he helped him with his coat.

"Can I call you? Maybe I can buy you dinner this time?" Christian pulled Ollie into a hug.

"That sounds perfect." Ollie kissed Christian.

Ollie finished up the last of the receipts for the night when he saw Christian knocking at the front door of SCW. Ollie smiled as he opened the door for Christian. "What are you doing here? I didn't think I would see you until later this week!"

"I thought I would walk you home." Christian said as he walked in from the cold. "But I could leave and call you in a few days if you prefer."

"I have a better plan. You stay right now and walk me home AND call me in a few days!" Ollie gave Christian a quick kiss before returning to his work.

"Maybe I'll just nudge you in a few days." Christian hoped he wasn't being too forward.

"If you play your cards right." Ollie said as he walked away, enjoying how good it felt to flirt with Christian.

They walked to Ollie's apartment building holding hands. The pace was slow - neither wanted the night to end.

"I had fun with you tonight." Ollie said, his words forming clouds of steam.

"Yeah? Huh...you were kinda boring." Christian deadpanned.

Ollie laughed - loud and heartfelt. After a few moments they were quietly walking again.

"Did you like Luke and Noah?" Ollie asked.

"Do you mean - did I like Luke?" Christian put an arm around Ollie's shoulder.

Ollie put his arm around Christian's waist. "Well?"

Christian stopped, turning to face Ollie. "Luke is really important to you, isn't he?"

"Luke is family. I love him. I want you to love him, too." Ollie's eyes searched Christian's face.

"Why? I mean, why does it matter so much to you - what I think of him?" Christian saw Ollie's eyes sink a little - he suddenly looked sad.

Ollie looked away from Christian, toward the building across the street. "Well - this is it. Thanks for walking me home, Christian. The bus that picks up on the corner is a direct line to your hotel." Ollie pulled himself out of Christian's warm embrace and headed across the street.

Christian stood for a few seconds, trying to understand what just happened. He jogged across the street to catch up to Ollie. "Hey! Ollie, wait."

Christian grabbed Ollie's hand, turning him so they faced each other. Ollie had a pained expression - Christian could tell that he had asked the wrong question.

"Ollie - did I say something wrong?" Christian knew he did - but wasn't exactly sure what it was.

"No. I just think I made some assumptions. It's my fault."

"What assumptions?" Christian asked as he started to understand. "Wait, Ollie - I think I'm beginning to understand. You introducing me to Luke is a big deal - it means something. Am I right? It's kind of in the same category of me meeting your mother."

"My mother would rather eat rotting meat - no offense - but she just hates me." Ollie fidgeted with the zipper-pull of Christian's coat.

"Yeah - I remember. So, that means Luke is exactly like that - he's the relative whose approval I need before you know it's right?" Christian raised Ollie's eyes to meet his by pushing Ollie's chin up with his cold fingers.

Ollie didn't answer, he just looked into Christian's eye, his breath creating puffs of clouds.

"Ollie - that's the answer I was hoping for - silly man. I'm sorry - I screwed up the delivery." Christian's hands found their way to Ollie's face. "So, did I pass?"

Ollie's face felt warm where Christian's hands touched him. His heart did a cartwheel in his chest. Ollie felt himself moving closer to Christian, his lips pulled like a magnet. Christian's lips were hot, which was a magical contrast to the icy-cold of his nose.

"You passed." Ollie said before his lips crashed into Christian's again. "B+"

"What?" Christian laughed.

"B+ You passed with a B+" Ollie grinned, his eyes suddenly shadowed with a lusty quality. "If I remember right, you don't settle for less than an A. So I guess you better work on that."

The kiss that followed included a full-body hug that left nothing to the imagination. Ollie felt himself heating up in all the right places. He wanted to pull Christian by the collar up the stairs and into his apartment - leaving a trail of clothes behind them. Ollie worried that it was too soon, he didn't want to be stupid.

Christian never wanted to stop kissing Ollie. His body was on fire in every place that touched Ollie. Christian wanted to push Ollie up those stairs, bite his neck as Ollie tried to unlock the door, and tear off his clothes before the door closed. Christian also wanted to make sure Ollie trusted this - he didn't want to rush Ollie before he was ready.

"I guess I should let you get going. It's freezing out here." Christian said before he pulled himself - reluctantly - from Ollie's arms.

"Yeah." Ollie's body felt cold without Christian. They backed away from each other holding hands until their arms were stretched to the limit. Neither let go. They stood there, arms stretched, gripping fingertips. Ollie pulled Christian back, slowly, until they stood inches apart.

"Christian, would you..."

"Yeah, that would be..."

"I think so too, let's just..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..."

The door crashed open, their bodies tumbled into the apartment. There was a frenzy of kisses and touches and clothes flying across the room. Christian's hands roamed the landscape of Ollie's body - his emotions raw from the deep appreciation he felt for being given his second chance. Ollie's tongue explored Christian's neck and shoulders, his heart bursting with relief that Christian had searched for him. They both were in a wonderland of familiarity and surprise. Ollie pulled Christian into his bedroom, throwing him onto the bed. Ollie crawled on top of Christian, hips finding their perfect fit - just like Ollie remembered. Ollie kissed Christian, slow and soft. His eyes remained open, as did Christian's. Ollie's hands were tangled in Christian's hair. Christian's hands were making an effort to touch every cell of Ollie's skin.

"What are you thinking right now?" Christian asked in a low, sexy growl. "Your eyes are hard to read."

"I'm just trying to figure out if this is real. Am I dreaming, Christian?" Ollie's eyes searched Christian's.

"Does it feel like a dream?" Christian asked, sweetly.

"Yes." Ollie whispered.

"I think so, too." Christian kissed Ollie slowly. The kiss became more heated and breathless until their bodies danced together in a sensual rhythm. Christian rolled Ollie onto his back, "Ollie..." Christian moaned as he navigated the highway of Ollie's torso with his tongue.

Ollie felt the trail of wet heat mixed with the light scratches that only come from a man's face sliding across his body. Ollie looked down when he felt himself being pulled into Christian's mouth - vacuumed. Ollie and Christian locked eyes. Ollie felt himself falling into those eyes. Christian's eyes looked a darker shade of grey. The way Christian held Ollie's gaze reminded Ollie of the way they were so long ago. "This feels so good, so right."

Hearing Ollie's voice was intoxicating. Christian quickly lunged so he could kiss Ollie. "You taste like home, Ollie. This is where I belong - with you - tasting you, touching you." Christian's words blew into Ollie's ears through breathy whispers. He could feel Christian's incredibly hard cock pressing against his throbbing erection, still wet from Christian's tongue.

"Christian, I want you inside of me." Ollie said with a sense of urgency. Ollie suddenly felt desperate to feel their bodies mixing together. Ollie hadn't been interested in penetration for many years and now he understood why. Ollie only wanted to feel Christian inside of him and he needed it now. "Fuck me, Christian."

Christian heard the need in Ollie's tone and it cause his cock to become steel. Christian was sure that he had never been this hard in his life. He felt as desperate to plunge himself inside of Ollie's body as Ollie sounded to have him there. Christian made quick work of preparing Ollie's body, Ollie didn't have much patience for it. Soon Christian felt himself sliding into Ollie as Ollie gripped Christian's back with a mix of pleasure and pain.

"Oh - Christian - that feels perfect." Ollie said into Christian's ear.

"You feel so good, Ollie. God - Ollie." Christian's rhythm followed Ollie's lead. Their bodies slammed together faster and harder, their screams mixed together in the air. Ollie felt Christian's hand, pumping Ollie's cock in synchronicity. Their bodies were slippery with sweat, Christian's head pressed into Ollie's perfect chest. Ollie's head tilted backward, his mouth open as he screamed Christian's name mixed with 'I love you' and promises of forever.

Christian heard every word and held them in his heart as he tripled his effort to pleasure this man he loved more than anything in his life. Christian felt himself sliding against the sweat between their bodies, his left hand gripped Ollie's leg, adjusting him so the angle was absolutely perfect for Ollie's maximum pleasure. His right hand worked magic on Ollie's cock. Christian felt himself getting close to the edge.

"Ollie, I'm coming. Come with me, baby." Christian could feel Ollie getting close. "Ollie - I'm close, I want to come together."

Ollie's body pushed into Christian, "Deeper Christian - deeper - oh, god, Chris." Ollie felt the warm rush surround him. In the rush of heat and spasms, Ollie felt himself falling - floating - sliding into the future he thought he would only live in his dreams. He felt Christian's body shudder, Christian's face resting in the space between Ollie's neck and shoulder. Their bodies slipped into that sweet spot Ollie remembers from long ago, where all of their pieces fit together in a comfortable post-orgasm cuddle. Ollie kissed Christian's sweaty hair, his temple, his forehead. They gasped for air.

"Christian, I love you so much." Ollie said - his voice hoarse from passionate screams.

Christian buried his face deeper into Ollie's neck, "Please keep me."

Ollie moved himself so he could look at Christian's face, "What did you say?"

Christian looked at Ollie for several minutes, his eyes still searching. He knew what he wanted to say - but couldn't find the words. He wanted to tell Ollie he was stupid and selfish. That he got lost in his ego - forgetting what's really important for a minute. He wanted to tell Ollie that his biggest regret in life is that as he lost himself - he hurt the most important person in his life - the best person he knows - his one-and-only. He wanted to tell Ollie that since he left, his life felt only half-full. That his attempts to find love have been failures because he compared everyone to Ollie - and no one measured up. He wanted to tell Ollie that it's only him - it's always been him. He wanted Ollie to know how much he appreciates him and how he promises to never, ever take him for granted again - if only Ollie would just...

"Keep me."

Ollie saw that there was so much more to those two words in Christian's eyes. Ollie's heart swelled - he felt himself opening up and welcoming the plunge into love.

"Okay."

Christian kissed Ollie, deep and lingering kisses. Christian slipped off of Ollie, rolled himself onto his back and pulled Ollie onto him so Ollie rested between Christian's legs. Ollie's face hovered above Christian's - Ollie's smile widened as he watched Christian's eyes give away his desires. "What's going on in that handsome head of yours?"

"I'm just wondering if you're going to be able to top my performance." Christian smiled.

"I believe that's a challenge Christian Mann." Ollie sucked on Christian's lower lip.

Ollie took the challenge - they called it a tie.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Christian rolled over, reaching for Ollie. When he only felt empty space next to him - he panicked thinking that it was all a dream. He opened his eyes and looked around Ollie's room, the morning light bright. He could smell coffee.

"Good Morning." Ollie kissed Christian as he walked into the kitchen. "You're naked."

"You're not." Christian pulled at Ollie's belt buckle.

"I have to leave in ten minutes - work, remember?" Ollie protested, but didn't stop the unbuckling process.

"Ten minutes? We only need seven." Christian nibbled on Ollie's ear.

"As tempting as that sounds, I'm going to have to take a rain check." Ollie kissed Christian.

"Okay - but I expect 14 minutes later." Christian laughed.

Ollie poured Christian a cup of coffee. "I ran out this morning and got you some stuff for smoothies. You're still a smoothie-in-the-morning-guy I hope." Ollie said.

"Yeah - I can't believe you remember" Christian looked wide eyed.

"Of course I remember. I remember everything, Christian." Ollie winked. "I went to three different places to try to find that protein powder you like, but I don't think they sell it here. So I got you this brand, it's vanilla flavor though - just like the one back home."

"That's very thoughtful, Ollie. Thank you." Christian felt unworthy.

"My pleasure. Okay - I need to run. Luke and Noah are meeting us tonight for dinner. You want to meet me at SCW at 7 p.m.? It's a short walk from there."

"Sure - that sounds great." Christian was so amazed by how comfortable this felt with Ollie.

"Oh - and here..." Ollie held out his hand, a key dangled off of this middle finger. "So you can get in after you check out of your hotel."

Christian looked confused, but happy. He didn't know what to say, so he just looked at Ollie - searching again.

"I told you I was keeping you." Ollie kissed him deeply and went to work.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Christian took his time, savoring his coffee and smoothie as he looked more closely around Ollie's apartment. Ollie had become quite the neat-freak over the years. Christian noticed that Ollie had not only spent his morning searching for the perfect smoothie ingredients, but he had also picked up the trail of clothes they had left all over the floor the previous night. Christian found a neatly folded stack of his clothes sitting on the back of the couch. Ollie didn't have a lot of clutter. The few pieces of decorative accessories he did have were from Germany. He had a handful of pictures on one shelf above the television, neatly arranged with frames that complemented the décor.

Ollie obviously displayed pictures of the people he felt a strong connect with. One picture looked like it had been taken at the airport, perhaps when Ollie left Germany for his new life in Chicago. This picture was of Ollie, Olivia, and Charley. Next to that, was a picture of Judith and Ollie – taken the day Christian won the Regional Championship – Ollie looked proud and happy. Sophia and Lars were pictured in front of a Marry-go-Round – it was a smaller picture in a frame with puppies around the edges. A picture of Gregor behind the bar at No Limits was in a frame the same color of the shirt Gregor wore. The picture that was most prominent, set in front of the others, was of Luke. It looked like it was taken here, in Ollie's apartment. Luke sat on Ollie's couch, his hair stood up all around his head. He wore faded red sweat pants and no shirt or shoes. Christian thought Luke looked dreamy in this picture – like he had just been woken from a late night of sex. Christian could see why Ollie would be attracted to the man in the picture, Luke was sexy.

Christian looked at the clock on the microwave and thought he should get going. He wasn't expecting to be checking out of his hotel so soon, but was very happy to do so and wanted to get it done before 11am. Christian had put off his shower for as long as possible because he loved that he smelled like sweaty-sex and Ollie. Christian found the towel Ollie left for him on the edge of the bed and walked toward the bathroom, stopping as he passed the small night table next to the bed. He noticed a small picture frame tucked behind the lamp on the table. Christian bent to get a closer look. The picture of Ollie and Christian was held in a small red leather frame. Christian remembered the day that picture was taken. He and Ollie had just come home from a run, it was during the time Christian was absorbed in training for the Regionals. Ollie had been running with him every day, pushing him to go a little farther each time. Gregor had just bought a new camera and wanted to take some test shots before the big fight. He caught Ollie and Christian in the hallway between their flats. He asked them to pose in front of their door and Ollie gladly accommodated. His arms were wrapped around Christian's neck as he planted a kiss on Christian's cheek. Christian's hands were holding Ollie's arms as he leaned into Ollie. They looked happy.

After a hot shower Christian dried himself as he walked into the den to grab his clothes.

"Whoa!" Luke said and turned his head to avoid seeing more of Christian's naked body.

Christian jumped, "Shit! You fucking scared me!"

"Sorry about that – um – can you, you know, cover up or something?" Luke said as he looked at the ceiling.

Christian forgot he was naked, he grabbed a pillow from the couch and covered himself, his face, neck and shoulders turning a bright shade of red. "What are you doing here? How did you get in?"

"I have a key – Oliver and I both have keys to each other's apartments. I left something here that I need for class this afternoon." Luke carefully peeked, and was relieved to see Christian had covered up.

"Sorry, Christian. I didn't know you would be here – at least so soon." Luke said as he continued to look for his green messenger bag.

"What do you mean?" Christian sounded defensive.

"Oh – no offense. It's just that I would have thought Oliver would have needed more time before – you know. I mean I assume you are here this early because you woke up here – so…" Luke wanted to get out before he said something stupid. "Would it be okay if I looked in Oliver's bedroom real quick?"

"Why would your stuff be in his bedroom?" Christian hated how jealous he sounded.

"It's cool, Christian. I have Ollie's stuff all over my place – doesn't mean we're married or anything." Luke tried to sound light.

"Why do you think this is too soon? You never answered." Christian followed Luke into the bedroom. "Didn't you and Noah jump right back into bed?"

Luke stopped searching and looked at Christian, his face splotchy and red. "I really don't think you know enough about Noah and I to compare. And, Noah never abused me - so it's a completely different situation."

"What did you say?" Christian wasn't trying to hide his anger.

"You heard me. It's really none of my business, I'm just surprised – that's all. I would prefer for Oliver to be more careful." Luke figured he had already opened the can-of-worms, so he might as well give Christian a piece of his mind.

"I don't know what Ollie told you – but I never abused him. Ever. So I would appreciate it if you would shut the fuck up about shit you know nothing about." Christian stepped toward Luke.

"Why would you assume I don't know anything about it, Christian. Oliver and I are best friends! We were lovers for several months, too. Oliver doesn't need to tell me anything for me to know with certainty that you abused him. I was with him more times than I can count – in the middle of the night – when he woke up screaming. You gave him nightmares, Christian." Luke's voice was loud, but he wasn't yelling yet.

"That's crazy! I would never, EVER, hit Ollie!" Christian was screaming.

"I never said you hit him, I said you abused him. You tortured him is more accurate. You humiliated him, rejected him, shunned him, and attacked him – at the same time that you were feigning your love for him. What would you call that?"

Christian knew he was right. "That's between me and Ollie. I'm not denying any of it, and Ollie is willing to give me a chance to do right by him. That's all I can do – be something better moving forward."

"I get that. I still wish Oliver would take it slow with you. He's very special to me - a gift. I don't want to see him hurt all over again. I don't want to spend one more night holding him through the pain that you caused." Luke said.

"If I have my way – the only man who will be holding Ollie through the night – on good nights or bad nights – will be me." Christian wasn't sure if he was marking his territory or making a promise.

"I hope so – for Oliver's sake. You have no idea how huge this is for him – don't think for a minute that this thing he has jumped into with you hasn't been a carefully calculated risk on his part. He must see something in you that is worth taking the risk – I just hope he's right." Luke saw a tiny piece of green under Ollie's bed

"There it is!" Luke grabbed his bag. He turned to walk out of the bedroom. Christian caught him by the arm.

"Luke, wait." Christian's voice was softer.

Luke turned to face Christian, who was still holding a pillow in front of himself. The image made Luke smile. "You know you're still naked, right?"

"Shut up." Christian laughed.

"I'll wait for you in the den, put some pants on! I only have a couple of minutes though." Luke wanted to give Ollie's one-and-only a chance.

Christian followed a few seconds later, wearing Ollie's boxers. "I hear you, Luke. I can't argue with you, either. You're right. I hate that you're right – but you are. Ollie and I have talked about it – and I intend to spend lots of time reiterating how messed up I was and how sorry I am. I totally fucked up! But I came here to find him – to beg for him – to find ways to make it up to him. I hate my world without him in it. I need Ollie as much as I need air. I have no intention of fucking up again. I promise you that."

"I'm not the one that matters – you don't need to promise me anything." Luke said.

"Ahhh – but that's where you're wrong, my friend. You do matter. You matter to Ollie – and that means you matter to me. So I will gladly prove myself to you, too. All I ask is that you give me a chance." Christian held out his hand for a handshake.

"Christian! I'm not going to shake on it." Luke said, his eyes furrowed.

Christian looked disappointed.

"I'm a hugger!" Luke grabbed a very surprised Christian and pulled him into a classic Snyder bear-hug.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ollie changed from his work clothes in the handicap stall in the bathroom of SCW. When he exited the stall, Christian was leaning against the sinks. Ollie stopped when he saw Christian, a smile lit up his face.

"You're just in time." Ollie said. He stepped toward Christian, kissing him lightly on the lips.

Christian pulled Ollie closer, wrapping his arms around Ollie's waist. "I missed you today."

"Me too. I couldn't stop thinking about you." Ollie kissed Christian again, a little more aggressively.

"Oh yeah? Good." Christian smacked Ollie's ass playfully.

"Did you check out of your hotel?" Ollie tried not to sound pathetic.

"Mmmmm-hmmmmm." Christian moaned his answer into Ollie's neck.

"You're going to have to stop that, now. It's really bad form for the boss to have a boner at work." Ollie whispered seductively into Christian's ear.

"I'm sorry. Did I do that?" Christian asked as he grabbed the bulge in Ollie's pants.

"Oh shit, Christian." Ollie bit Christian's neck before pulling away from him. "Barbara Bush, Barbara Bush, Barbara Bush."

Christian laughed, "Does that work?"

Ollie turned, pointed to his crotch, "Yep!"

Christian took Ollie's backpack from him in an automatic way that boyfriends have of taking care of the one they love, "Shall we?"

Ollie and Christian walked toward the café where they were meeting Luke and Noah. Ollie's arm loosely wound around Christian's waist, his fingers held onto Christian's belt loop. Christian casually hung his arm over Ollie's shoulder.

"I saw Luke today." Christian said.

"You did? Where did you run into him? I thought he had classes all day." Ollie said, surprised.

"He did, but he needed something that he left at your apartment, so he stopped by. Don't be jealous – but he saw your boyfriend naked." Christian gave Ollie a little squeeze.

Ollie looked at Christian, a little bit shocked. "Did you just call yourself my boyfriend?"

Christian laughed. "What about the naked part?"

"We'll get to that. But, are we boyfriends? Is that what you want?" Ollie stopped and faced Christian so they were looking eye to eye.

"I thought that was pretty clear last night when you had my legs wrapped around your neck." Christian touched Ollie's face, his thumb brushing his cheeks.

"Yeah – Okay." Ollie beamed. "So – we can go back to the naked part now. Why were you naked with Luke?"

"I ran into him in your den, I just stepped out of the shower." Christian blushed.

"Oh, shit." Ollie couldn't help chuckling.

"He has a key, you know." Christian said, trying to suppress a grin.

"No, really?" Ollie was really laughing now.

"I hope he isn't upset because your boyfriend has a bigger dick than his boyfriend." Christian did his best to keep his face serious.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Ollie gaffed.

"Seriously, Ollie, Luke had a few choice words for me." Christian looked into Ollie's eyes.

"Oh, god – what did he say? Luke can be really protective. He actually takes pride in it – calls it the Snyder-Way. It's actually quite endearing – I hope he didn't upset you." Ollie explained.

"Well – at first he really pissed me off. But, then I realized that he is just looking out for you. I think I like that – you know – someone who is on your side – besides me of course." Christian smiled.

"You're on my side, then?" Ollie asked.

"Always and forever." Christian kissed Ollie to seal the deal.

"What the fuck! Look guys, a couple of fags!" A voice yelled from behind them.

Ollie and Christian turned quickly and found themselves looking at Wolle and three of his boxers.

"Christian Mann? Is that you? Fuck – you really are a fag! I just thought you said that to get out of your contract." Wolle approached Ollie and Christian.

"Shit." Christian said under his breath as he instinctively stepped in front of Ollie, placing himself between Wolle and the man he loved.

"I thought you would be back home by now, Mann. I heard you were done covering the exhibition." Wolle glared.

"Are you keeping tabs on me, Wolle? Seems like maybe you have a little fag in you as well – huh?" Christian hated this man.

"Fuck you, Mann!" Wolle lunged.

Ollie pulled Christian back. "Come, Christian. Let's just go."

"Hey – it's your little fudge-packer flat mate. I knew this was all your fault – fucking fairy asshole. You owe me a lot of money for ruining a perfectly good boxer. Hey – boys – this little skinny faggot must give one hell-of-a-blowjob. His specialty is boxers – anyone interested in seeing what's so special about it?" Wolle pushed Ollie into a wall of a man that now stood behind him. The man wrapped his long, muscular arms around Ollie, pinning his arms to his sides. Ollie felt himself being pulled into an alley next to where they stood.

"Ollie!" Christian lunged in Ollie's direction, but Wolle tripped him. Wolle and one of the men kicked Christian, striking him all over his body.

"Christian!" Ollie screamed, struggling to free himself so he could help Christian. He raised his legs in the air and slammed his feet into the knees of the man restraining him.

Ollie suddenly saw an arm around Wolle's neck, placing him in a choke hold as he was pulled away from Christian. The other man was kicked from behind, pushing him into the street. Christian struggled to his feet, needing to get to Ollie, who was now being held by one man, and punched by another. "Leave him alone!"

Christian reached Ollie in a flash. He spun the man throwing punches by the shoulder and slammed his fist into the man's face. Christian felt a wave of pain in his hand that shot up into his shoulder. The punch landed squarely on the mans nose, exploding in blood. The man fell to the ground, holding his face. "AGGHH! Shit!"

"DUCK!" Christian screamed. Ollie dipped his head just as Christian landed a punch on the man restraining him. Ollie was released immediately as the man grabbed his face, feeling his cheekbone fracture.

Christian grabbed Ollie by his shirt and pulled him out of the alley. Wolle was on the ground with Noah's foot planted on his chest. The other man leaned against a car, his arm pulled behind his back. Luke's forearm held the man's head on the car.

"You guys okay?" Luke asked, trying to catch his breath.

"Ollie – you okay?" Christian held Ollie's face in his hands. Christian looked terrified and he checked Ollie for injuries.

"I'm fine, but look at you. Oh my god – Christian!" Ollie pulled his shirt off, using it to stop the bleeding on Christian's head.

Two police cars pulled up, they held all of them for a while until they made sense of the chaos. Wolle and his boxers were hauled away in hand-cuffs.

Christian refused an ambulance. Noah and Luke walked with Ollie and Christian to Ollie's apartment.

"Luke, could you order us some dinner – I'm going to help Christian change." Ollie asked.

"Of course – does Christian like mushrooms on his pizza?" Luke smiled.

Ollie unbuttoned Christian's shirt. It was white when they started their stroll – now it was covered in dirt, boot prints, and blood. Ollie grimaced when he saw the bruises on Christian's chest, back, and abdomen. "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah – like a motherfucker!" Christian allowed himself to be vulnerable. "How does my face look?"

"You look like you're still a professional boxer and you lost the fight!" Ollie brushed his fingers through Christian's hair.

Luke walked in with a bag of ice and several wet hand towels. "Here Ollie."

"Thanks, Luciano. For everything." Ollie gave his friend a grateful look.

"Luke, you and Noah – you could have been – I mean…thanks." Christian said.

Luke sat on the bed next to Christian and placed his hand on Christian's shoulder. "Snyder's take care of family – and we don't back down from a fight if one of our own is in trouble." Luke kissed Christian lightly on his forehead.

Later, Ollie walked into his dimly lit bedroom, carrying a cup of hot tea, "They just left. Here, drink this."

"Thanks." Christian tried to take the cup from Ollie, pain exploded all over his body. "Would you mind just setting it on the table?"

"I think you should let me take you to the hospital." Ollie sat on the edge of the bed, holding an ice pack on Christian's swollen eye.

"Tell you what. If I still feel this bad in the morning, I promise to go to an urgent clinic - Okay?" Christian placed a hand on Ollie's thigh.

"I can't believe that happened today - so crazy! I just don't get it. And to happen here! What are the chances?" Ollie adjusted the ice pack to cover Christian's cheek, too.

"I know. I feel so responsible." Christian's face clouded.

"What? Why?" Ollie placed his boyfriend's hand on the ice pack so he could crawl in bed next to Christian.

"Because - I exposed you to that crazy-man, then I acted like what he did - the way he acted toward you - was okay. I should have put him firmly in his place three years ago."

"We are done with that, Christian. You are not allowed to beat yourself up anymore. Tonight is not your fault - if anything you won the boyfriend of the year award!" Ollie carefully pulled Christian into his arms. Christian rested his head on Ollie's chest. Ollie wrapped his arms around Christian, kissed the top of his head, and stroked his back gently.

"I found your secret little picture today." Christian said in a sleepy voice.

Ollie looked toward the night table, seeing that his red framed picture had been moved to the middle of the table, no longer hidden from view. "I can see that it's not such a secret anymore."

"Nope - it's exactly where it belongs." Christian said s he slid into sleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Ollie took a sip of his coffee and heard the familiar sound of Luke's bare feet slapping on the hardwood floors as he dragged himself to the kitchen. When Luke came into view, Ollie smiled warmly, Luke always looked so adorable in the morning.

"Here's your coffee, sunshine." Ollie put Luke's coffee in front of the stool that was Luke's usual breakfast spot. "So what's your mood today, Luciano, Cheerios or Product 19?"

Luke gulped his first sip of coffee, "19, please." Luke said, still sounding hoarse from the morning air.

Ollie poured the cereal in a bowl, added the exact amount of milk that Luke preferred, and placed it in front of the sleepy blonde. Just as Ollie handed Luke his favorite cereal spoon, Ollie felt hands slipping around his waist from behind. Christian kissed the back of Ollie's neck as he pulled Ollie's back into him.

"Good morning." Christian said in Ollie's ear.

Ollie turned his head and kissed Christian on the side of his face. "It's good now!"

"I need coffee." Christian whined.

"It's all ready for you, Sleeping Beauty." Ollie placed Christian's coffee at the stool next to Luke. "Your smoothie is in the fridge, I made it when I got up this morning."

Christian took his seat, picking up his coffee cup as Ollie placed his smoothie - with a straw - in front of him.

Ollie heard the apartment door close and Noah walked into the kitchen a few seconds later. "Well, Ollie - looks like our men have decided to join us."

Noah put his arm around Luke's shoulder and kissed his neck. "I ran 6 miles this morning."

"Show off." Luke said, looking to Christian for support.

"I hear that if you ignore them, they go away." Christian said, chuckling.

"Noah, while these two find ways to ignore their obvious laziness by making fun of you - can I interest you in a few scrambled eggs?" Ollie knew Noah like protein in the morning.

"That sounds great, Ollie!" Noah sat in the stool next to Christian.

"Eat this banana while you wait for your eggs, you need a little sugar after your run." Christian handed Noah a banana.

"Noah and I decided that since we are all off this afternoon - it's the perfect day for a little basketball." Ollie said.

Christian and Luke looked at each other - looked at Ollie - then back to each other. "No!" They said in unison.

"Yes!" Noah said. "Couple against couple!"

"I'm not sure that's a fair match, Noah. They are kinda old." Luke said with his crooked smile.

"Oh! I see how it is. Nice, Luke - real nice!" Ollie warmed up Luke's coffee.

"Okay - then me and Luke against you and Noah." Christian said.

"Perfect!" Noah said. "We'll play shirts verses skins."

Luke and Christian shared a knowing glance, and at the same time they looked at their look-alike boyfriends and yelled, "You're skins!"

Ollie and Noah laughed, "Noah - why do we let them objectify us like this?" Ollie said.

"Because they're so darn cute!" Noah smiled.

Ollie cleaned the breakfast dishes as Luke and Christian disappeared to get dressed for the park. Noah finished a phone call to the bakery, confirming the order for the cake he had ordered for Christian's "permanent visa" party.

As Noah hung up the phone, he spoke to Ollie, "I forgot to tell you that Emma wants me to tell you that you and Christian are coming to Thanksgiving this year - no excuses."

"I wouldn't miss an opportunity for Emma's apple pie!" Ollie confessed.

"Come on, Skins - let's go!" Luke called from the front door of the apartment they all shared together.

Ollie hung his dish towel on a hook above the sink before walking out of the kitchen. Painted on a tile hanging on the wall next to the towel was a Bright Red Heart with five words painted in even brighter white: "The One-and-Only Club."


End file.
